


Golden Boy

by Jacqualine



Category: Anne of Green Gables - L. M. Montgomery, Anne with an E (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Dark, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, F/M, Locker Room Talk, Out of Character, Self-Harm
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-02-07
Updated: 2020-03-10
Packaged: 2021-02-28 06:47:38
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 16
Words: 38,982
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22599592
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Jacqualine/pseuds/Jacqualine
Summary: Gilbert is living every Canadian boy's dream, he's is a superstar hockey player. Anne has a new job, working with the team Gilbert plays for. There are instant sparks, but there is just one problem...he could never be with someone like her.This will get pretty dark at times, some scenes will blur the lines in consent, and there will be scenes dealing with self harm and may trigger some people. This isn't going to be our sweet, perfect not so secret feminist Gilbert and Anne is going to be very different.I appreciate all criticisms but don't @ me when I warned you.
Relationships: Gilbert Blythe/Anne Shirley
Comments: 233
Kudos: 402





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> I know the rules of hockey, I understand how the game is played, but I don't know the divisions, and how people advance through the divisions to the juniors. I am definitely not sporty so suspend your disbelief please!

Golden Boy, that was a term Gilbert had heard all his life. When he was younger he had loved it. The guys had wanted to be his friend, be around him, to be him, and the girls had always wanted his attention. By the time he was twelve, it was clear to anyone who saw him on the ice, that he would be a star. His name would be said with reverence, like Gretzky, Lemieux, Crosby, and it wasn't undeserved, he was top goal scorer on every single one of his hockey teams. His dad had him on the ice by the time he was two with a tiny little plastic stick, making John Blythe laugh with joy, not only at how quickly little Gilbert learned to skate, but at his literal speed. At four when he could join his first team, Gilbert was one of the few kids that actually understood the concept, of "our team is that end and we want to put the puck in their net". While most of the kids disregarded positions and rules to chase after the puck, Gilbert skated rings around them and scored six goal the first game, leaving most of the other kids crying. The parents complained it wasn't fair that he played at the same age level as their kids, so the league bumped him up to the next age group and despite the size difference he meshed well with those kids, playing with bigger, faster kids only helped to improve his skills and it didn't take long before he was leading that division in goals scored. 

The same year he reached the age division where body checking was allowed, his father got sick. It didn't affect Gilbert's life in many ways, John was still at every game and most practices, but some mornings or afterschool, another parent would pick Gilbert up and take him to school or drop him off. 

When the small persistent cough got worse and the chemo stopped working, and John was missing most games, Gilbert wanted to stay home with his dad, but John refused. "Gilbert, you can not let this stop you. You are going to be huge, you're going to be a Hall of Famer one day." So Gilbert was homeschooled by his coach's sister, Marilla Cuthbert, she agreed to teach Gilbert and help take care of John. When he had games or tournaments out of town, he worried endlessly but his coaches and teammates did their best to cheer him up and be there for him. 

At fifteen, the doctors told him that John could die at anytime, Gilbert refused, despite his father's and his coaches desperate pleas to keep playing, he was being scouted by the junior leagues from all over Canada, the US and even Europe. "Gilbert these teams will lead to the NHL." The professional hockey league in Canada and the US. 

"I won't leave you Dad, not now." Gilbert held back the tears, he wanted to run away, to get the news over the phone, so he wouldn't have to see his father, already a dried out husk of his former self, die. To lose the light that glimmered, even in this dying state, and loved to talk about not only hockey but Dickinson and Frost. But he couldn't leave him alone, John had lost his wife and three other children in a horrific car crash when Gilbert was just a few weeks old. John had survived that grief for Gilbert, because of Gilbert. And Gilbert, no matter how scared and terrified he was to watch his father slip away, he stayed. 

John Blythe died on a cold December morning, Gilbert was alone, the last Blythe. He went to live with his coach, Matthew and Marilla, they agreed to take him on so he wouldn't end up in a group home. They understood that in a place like that there would be no one to help him live up to his potential. The week after the funeral, he was offered several spots on teams, he chose Halifax, so he could be close to the Cuthberts. It wasn't the best team in the Juniors and many told him to go elsewhere, including Matthew, but Gilbert said he needed a bit more time to develop his skills and maturity. 

At sixteen he moved to Halifax and shared accommodations with a couple of other players from the team. He continued to go to school, practice and train. Getting taller, wider, faster and more accurate. Still the top scorer on his team, the league and his stats had NHL scouts already talking about him.

At 18 he was drafted by The Toronto Maple Leafs, they had first pick in the draft, and they chose him. It wasn't unexpected, he was the number one choice for every team, and he was still referred to as "Golden Boy". When he stood on the stage with the GM for the Leafs, and pulled on the white jersey with the blue stripes and blue maple leaf, he was proud of himself. Proud that despite all the things that could have went wrong for him, he had succeeded, achieved not only his own dream in life but one he had shared with his dad. 

Three years later we was still the Golden Boy of the NHL, captain of his team, won Rookie of the Year, had a Gold medal from the Olympics, a Gold medal from the World Junior competition and a Gold medal from the World Championship, endorsement deals for Nike, Gatorade, and was hailed for helping to lead his team to the playoffs every year since joining, things were going great for him, but he was beginning to hate his life. He hated doing photo shoots, giving interviews, having every move scrutinized, videos and pictures of him at clubs, out for dinner with his teammates, or on dates, circulated the internet, the local media, obsessed with hockey, talked about him nonstop. He hated the state of his life, hockey was the only thing he loved about it and there were days he hated that as well. He couldn't help but think his family, if they were alive, would be disappointed in him. He was having too many random hook ups, drinking too much and just not being the kind of man John Blythe raised him to be. Some days he even resented his talent and skills, he wished he could be back in PEI, wandering the forests of Avonlea. He had come to detest the nickname. 

"Good afternoon, MLSE, Veronica speaking. How may I help you?" 

"Hey Veronica, it's Gilbert. Pete wanted me to call him." Gilbert had a voicemail asking to call the teams GM when he had a chance.

"Of course Mr. Blythe, I'll put you through."

"Pete Thomas's office, how may I help you?" A soft, feminine voice answered. He didn't recognize this voice, where was Britney, Pete's usual assistant?

"Hi, this is Gilbert Blythe. Pete is expecting my call." He answered. 

"Oh Mr. Blythe, I am sorry to say that Pete had to leave the office for a family emergency. He won't be available on his cell phone either for the night, I'm sorry to say. But he assures me he will be back in the office tomorrow."

"Where's Britney?" He asked.

"She's gone to Las Vegas to get married." The voice hitched as if she were holding back a chuckle. 

"She's marrying Joe? We can't afford to lose him for tomorrow's game." Gilbert frowned, thinking about their defenceman Joe Harding, he had been seeing Britney for the last year.

"I don't believe Joe has joined her on her trip."

"What? Who is she marrying?" He asked, poor Joe.

"Until the news breaks I can't comment. I'm sorry." Well at least she could hold her tongue, maybe he wouldn't have to worry about anymore leaks getting out to the media. 

"Nah...it's cool. Listen, do you have the travel information for the road games next week? I can't find my copy."

"Of course I can get that for you right away. Do you want me to courier to you?" He liked the sound of her voice, he couldn't help but imagine what she looked like. A tall, cool blonde, full lips, large breasts, big round ass. Or maybe a compact athletic brunette. 

"That's not necessary. Just text it to me. Do you need the number?" 

"Nope, it's right here in the system. I will text you a copy, right now. Sent." He heard his phone's notification go off. 

"There is is, let me make sure I can open it." He pulled it away from his ear and saw he had a text with an attachment from Anne Shirley. He opened and saw it was his itinerary. 

"Anne?" He said back into his phone. 

"Did you get it?"

"Yes. Thanks so much."

"Anytime, is there anything else, Mr. Blythe?" She asked. 

"I don't think so. Oh and Anne?"

"Yes?"

"You can call me Gilbert."

"Of course Mr...Gilbert."

The next day he called Pete, once again transferred by Veronica, the switchboard operator. "Blythe you bastard! You ready to wipe the floor with that snivelling twerp Andrews?" Pete boomed through the phone. Gilbert was on his way to the hockey arena for practice. He didn't live far and enjoyed walking there. 

"He got the best of me last time we played them." Gilbert reminded him. He had a long standing dislike for Billy Andrews. They had been teammates for a short time while in Halifax, both got drafted to the NHL the same year, Andrews going 23rd overall. He wasn't as good as Gilbert, he wasn't a particularly good puck handler, didn't score as much, but he was fast and he was a brute on the ice. There hadn't been a match up between the Detroit Red Wings and the Maple Leafs where Billy Andrews didn't give Gilbert a dirty hit, an illegal trip or provoke him into an actual fight. Last time Andrews got a good punch on Gilbert and knocked him down. He was still crowing about it on Twitter. 

"He's never going to compare to you Gilly-boy!" They chatted for a bit, Pete reminded Gilbert of some interviews scheduled for the upcoming away games, until Gilbert arrived at the arena. 

He made his way through security and to the locker room, greeting his teammates and the staff that were there. He changed out of his street clothes and began to pull on his training gear, he was lacing up his skates when Joe Harrison arrived. Most of the guys immediately started ripping on Joe because his girlfriend ran off to Vegas to marry someone else. The news had broke the night before, she married one of the basketball players from NBA team in Toronto, the two teams shared the Arena for home games and practices. Gilbert was just glad it wasn't another guy from his team. He had seen to many guys fighting in the locker room over girls. He let his mind drift while he pulled on his shoulder pads, until the loud laughing interrupted his thoughts. 

"Shit she is ugly!" Caden Cooper was saying. "Like it isn't just the red hair, I've seen some hot gingers, but the freckles...are everywhere. Like small pox or something."

"Coop I saw that Sea Hag you fucked in Buffalo, she must be ugly if you won't bend her over in the dark." One of the guys called out. Gilbert half smiled at the locker room talk. 

"Oh shit, I drank a bottle of tequila that night. It's not my fault. I'd need double that to even considered this one."

"Who is he talking about? A rink rat?" Gilbert asked, using the term for a hockey groupie. 

"Pete's new executive assistant." One of the staffers answered. Anne, the girl with the amazing voice. She was ugly? He shrugged and laughed at himself for inventing a little fantasy about her, if he wasn't careful he would end up being catfished. He'd never live something like that down. They were called by the coach out to the ice and all thoughts of Anne left his mind as he started the practice drills.


	2. Chapter Two

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Gilbert finally meets Anne.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This one is another Gilbert POV. I don't intend for them to all be this way, but that's how it's going so far. We will get inside Anne's head soon.

"Hi, Mr. Blythe...Gilbert, it's Anne Shirley; Pete's executive assistant." Just the sound of her voice through the phone gave him goosebumps. He didn't understand why. It wasn't a sultry, sexy voice, she didn't have an accent, there was just something that piqued his interest, he had never really had an experience like that before. He was very visual, he wasn't a fan of phone sex but if a girl wanted to play herself on Facetime for him, he was down for it. Of course always being careful to never jerk off over the phone. He knew too many guys who got burnt because some chick had recorded a video chat, where their dick was out. He just didn't get why he was having this sort of reaction to a voice, a voice that belonged to a person he didn't even know. 

"Hi." He answered curtly. He was mad at her, for letting him think she was hot. He knew on a rational level, she hadn't done anything, that he had allowed his mind to fantasize, but he still felt annoyed with her. 

"Pete has asked that you come to his office after practice today." 

"What for?" He practically growled. 

"He told me I could tell you, but asked that you don't tell anyone else for security purposes. The Prime Minister is in town, and her daughter is a huge fan, they want to meet you." She must have noticed his tone, because hers became even more professional. 

"Great, a fucking meet and greet with a VIP. More bullshit." He complained, when she didn't reply, he continued. "Her kid is what? Twelve?"

"Nine."

"At least the kid won't be trying to fuck me." He wanted to shock her, offend her, get her professionalism to slip. 

"It certainly shouldn't be an issue." She replied coldly. 

"Yeah, gotta go." And he ended the call. 

"Blythe you Moke! Watch out." Sebastian Lacroix called out as Gilbert almost skated into him. Sebastian was called Bash by his teammates, he was a left winger, and on Gilbert's line along with Caden Cooper, he was Gilbert's best friend...like a brother. He was already on the team when Gilbert joined, he took Gilbert under his wing, showed Gilbert around Toronto, took him to the best Trinidadian restaurant in the city, and was great at doling out advice, even when it was unsolicited. Gilbert took that minute to get a drink and try and get his head together. Why was he so cranky? Maybe he just needed to get laid, find a hot chick, go back to her place, never to his, and just go to town on her. Then he could get that voice out of his head, the one that even when dripping with ice, sounded so fucking hot. 

"Hey Bash, you want to go clubbing tonight?"

"Not tonight, swimming lessons with Dellie." Bash grinned. Dellie was his daughter, just a year old. "Just don't ask Coop, you know he gets."

"Yeah." Cooper was a terrible drunk, he routinely got into altercations at bars and was constantly getting disciplined, for showing up hungover or still drunk. 

"Guess I'll go home and binge something on Netflix." He resigned himself to a quiet night. The coach called for them to go shower and reminded them to be on time for the bus to the airport the next day. He headed to the locker room, showered and dressed to meet the PM and her kid. 

He was stopped by the PM's security at the entrance to Pete's reception area, three burly RCMP officers in dark suits, guns on their hips, radios in their ears. "Hey Boys, gonna frisk me?" He joked. They didn't smile back. 

"Standard protocol sir." One of them answered and Gilbert sighed. He hated VIPs. The only meet and greets he liked were with the kids, they were so honest and excited to meet him, just wanted to ask him question like his favourite jelly bean flavour or to tell him about the time they had a short handed goal. The adults were always fawning, he had enjoyed it when he was younger but with age comes wisdom and he soon realized that their flattery wasn't always sincere and they almost always wanted something from him. The officer patted him down briefly and then another one opened the door for him, he heard the first one say into his radio "Blythe is incoming."

"Lizzy, you are looking gorgeous. When are we going out on a date?" He flirted with Pete's receptionist. She was close to retirement and blushed furiously whenever he flirted with her. He adored her, he bought her flowers for her birthday, and gave her tickets to see whatever play was the must see event of the year at Christmas. She knitted him a new scarf for his birthday and gave him a box of homemade fudge at Christmas that he had treasured, homemade treats made him think of Marilla, he couldn't wait for the season to be over so he could get back to Avonlea for a bit. 

"Oh Sweetie, I've told you a million times. You couldn't handle me." Gilbert threw back his head and laughed.

"I'd still give it a go." He teased. 

"Go on you cheeky devil. They are waiting." She grinned. 

He opened the door and was greeted by two more RCMPs, who moved aside to let him enter, he was greeted to the sound of childish giggling and a soft feminine laugh. Red. He saw a shock of red hair, in a braid away from her face, down her back, her face was turned away from him. It had to be Anne, she was wearing navy blue dress pants, and one of the Maple Leaf hoodies, he wrinkled his nose to see Cooper's name and number on the back. Would she wear Coop's jersey if she knew how ugly he thought she was? 'You think she wants to wear yours?' He chided himself. She was sitting on the couch by the window with a little girl who was wearing one of his jerseys, number 15, sleeves rolled up many times to compensate for her small body.

"Gilbert, come and meet Prime Minister Murray." Pete called him over to his desk. Janice Murray was doing a good job as PM, Gilbert had voted for her, his first time voting, and he was glad she won and not her opponent, a horrible, vengeful little man, who had destroyed his province's economy, before turning his eye to his party's top spot. He would have hated meeting him and pretending to be nice.

"It's an honour maam." He held out his hand, keeping eye contact despite wanting to see what Anne actually looked like. 

"The honour is mine. Thank you so much for meeting with Tatiana, she is a huge fan."

"I always have time for fans." He plastered on his fake smile and turned toward the little girl, who had gone silent when she realized he was in the room, sitting with eyes as wide as saucers. 

"Hi Tatiana, your Mom says you love the Leafs?" He was used to kids getting starstruck. Tatiana nodded solemnly but didn't speak. "Me too, they were my Dad's favourite team. Do you play?" She nodded again. He moved toward the couch, careful to smile and not scare her. "What position?"

"Center." She said in a small voice. 

"Like me. You left or right handed?" He sat down on the arm of the couch, close by but not enough to invade her space.

"Right, but I can do both. My coach says..." And then it was like a dam bursting and she didn't stop talking. He took that moment to finally look at Anne. Her eyes were looking down at her folded hands in her lap. He could see she had thick lips, no lipstick, red eyebrows, the same colour as her vibrant hair, her face was covered in freckles, all over her forehead, cheeks, nose, chin and some even on her neck. Why didn't she cover them up with make up? She could be pretty if she did that. She wasn't ugly...just kind of plain and the freckles really did distract from everything else. She looked up at that moment and they locked eyes, her eyes were stunning. Large greyish blue, framed with thick black lashes, she could be decent looking with a little work, he thought. Her eyebrows furrowed and her eyes narrowed slightly, as if she could read his mind. 

"Anyone need a coffee or some juice?" She spoke up, that voice just didn't suit her face. He shook his head and refocused on Tatiana. She left the room and returned shortly with a drink for Pete, staying over by Pete and the PM. 

Being busy with running the country, the visit wasn't very long and soon she was thanking Gilbert for his time and Pete for all the souvenirs. Tatiana hugged Gilbert and thanked him for signing her jersey. Pete walked them out, but not before he said to Anne. 

"Can you get those papers I need Gilbert to sign?" She nodded and moved to the file cabinets and began looking for the documents, when she found them she held them up and said. 

"Insurance wants you sign these. After the sky diving incident, they want to be reassured you won't partake in anymore high risk activities, or you may lose coverage." She explained. Gilbert had posted a video of himself skydiving, everything was fine until one of the other people skydiving that day and fallen hard and was left with possible spinal injuries that could mean paralysis.

"That's bullshit." He sneered and walked over to look at the papers, he noticed she flinched as he drew nearer.

"It would be best to have your lawyer and managers look over them before signing. There is a lot of legalese in these."

"Will do." He took the papers from his hand and then left without saying goodbye. 

He didn't see her again for over a week, they had the away games that had him and the team on the road for three games. He did talk to her once though, after the Detroit game. It hadn't been a pretty game, the two teams faced each other a lot throughout the season and there was a lot of animosity between them, mostly due to Billy and Gilbert's hatred for each other. It started with a breakaway goal Gilbert got at the three minute mark in the first period, the Red Wings hadn't been happy about it and they all tried their best to give him some hard hits, which resulted in some retaliation by the Leafs. It was less than five minutes into the third period when Billy gave him an illegal hit from behind, Gilbert wasn't even in possession of the puck. He didn't wait for the referee to make the call, he dropped his gloves and he and Billy began to throw punches, when Billy went down, with a bloody nose, another Detroit player Selkirk, skated up to Gilbert and became aggressive, throwing his gloves to the ice, fists up ready to "dance." More players skated up from both teams, and then the benches cleared. Gilbert was fighting someone, not Billy or Selkirk, he saw Bash laying waste to Selkirk near the penalty box. The goalies had skated to center ice and were whaling on each other. The referees were trying to seperate the players, the fans were cheering and booing and fighting each other. Detroit was a short drive from Toronto and many fans made the drive to support their team , the hometeam fans were nearly outnumbered by the Toronto fans. 

Billy Andrews was suspended for ten games and recieved a $25, 000 fine. Selkirk was giving a one game suspension. Gilbert got ejected from the remainder of the game, the media went nuts, complaining about hockey being filled with violent goons. Luckily for him, most of the media saw him as fairly innocent in the incident, and he had the league's support too. 

This is what Anne was calling him about two days after the brawl. "Mr. Blythe, It's Anne Shirley calling, Pete wanted me to check in with you." He was back to Mr. Blythe, he frowned at that, he wasn't used to being disliked by women, even if he didn't find her attractive, he was bothered that he seemed to have no effect on her. 

"I'm doing great. The doctors scanned my head and my hands. No fractures or concussions." He replied.

"We are well aware of that. He wanted to remind you that Jody is always a resource you can use." She dropped the iciness in her voice and she did seem sincere in her concern. 

"Ms. Shirley, I assure you if I need to talk to a therapist, I will get my own. Dr. Jody is not someone I can go to with problems...not that I have any." None of the guys liked the team therapist. Dr. Jody was a hippie at heart. She was always trying to make them use Hug Therapy to resolve their differences. She literally wanted them to hug each other until their anger abated. 

"Look, I know she is different but she does care. And I know that Billy Andrews seems to have some sort of personal vendetta with you, that kind of intense harassment can affect you. How you sleep, eat, concentrate and that can in turn hurt your game." This was the most she had talked to him, and he liked that she did seem to care, even if it was about protecting a valuable asset. 

"I'll think about it."

"Please do. Good luck tonight." They were playing the Chicago Blackhawks, a tough team, their goalie was fast like a cat. 

Later he hung out in the hotel bar with several of the guys, they had won and they were celebrating, getting drunk and rowdy. Of course they attracted women, he found himself drawn to a woman with bright red hair, dyed that colour obviously, she had brown eyes, not blue and she didn't have any freckles. He took her back to his room and while she was on her knees sucking his cock, he spread her hair out over his legs and stomach, and imagined it was Anne.


	3. Chapter Three

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Gilbert is still attracted to Anne. We get a look at Anne's life.
> 
> ** Some self harm in this chapter, please do not read if you may be hurt or triggered.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Wow, thanks for all the comments! I know it's a slow build up, but it's getting there. I included my favourite restaurant and neighbourhood in this chapter. 
> 
> I have a busy week coming up, so I don't know how much I will be able to write, but I am going to try and get at least one chapter posted this week.

He hated media day. Where the TV, Radio, Newspapers and now even bloggers and Youtubers, were invited to join the players and some fans on the ice for an informal practice. He hated talking to the media, it was one thing to give them a few lines during the intermission, they were always just sports cliches anyway. Things like "We got to focus and do our best." But on the ice with them, in a more informal setting, they always pushed for more. 

"We heard that there is tension in the locker room. Caden Cooper is bringing a lot of drama, there's fighting and tension. Any comments?"

"Rumours are that you are having issues with your knee. How are they holding up?"

"There's trade rumours....."

It was all the same and he had to keep his face frozen and deny everything, which then made some of them seem possible, even though nothing they asked about was remotely true. He was in the process of denying more dating rumours, when he saw Anne again. She was on the ice, in a pair of hockey skates, tight grey leggings, a Maple Leafs hockey jersey of a retired player, her hair in twin braids this time, and a smile. She was holding a hockey stick, and she was going through some puck handling drills with a small group of kids around the age of 6 or 7, and she was beaming at them. He froze in place, her smile literally lit up the arena, her eyes were sparkling, and she had dimples at the corners of her mouth. She spun around in a circle, laughing at the antics of one of the kids, and caught him looking at her, and her smile dropped, she didn't outright frown at him, but he could see a guarded expression replace her joy. He wanted to make her smile again. 

He pretended to listen to the journalists some more, keeping her in his eyeline, just over the shoulder of some stupid sports blogger who never had a good thing to say about Gilbert or the Leafs. She skated well, she had a good stride and nice long legs that looked strong, and looked really good in those leggings. When she cheered on one of the kids she put both arms up in the air, her jersey rode up and he got a great look at her ass, round and firm and...

"That's all for now. I'm going to go hang out with some kids." He told the media around him, and skated toward Anne and the kids. The eyes of the children grew wide as he approached, her eyes narrowed slightly, she said nothing as the kids greeted him with a chorus of "Gilberts" and "Blythes". 

"Alright kids let's see how you handle the puck." He showed them one of the drills he did regularly, and then stood beside Anne as they kids lined up to try and repeat his moves. "You play?" He attempted a conversation.

"A bit. Never on a real team." She stared at the kids, not making eye contact with him. 

"You play any other sports?" He tried again. 

"Not really, a bit of track in highschool but I wasn't fast enough to go anywhere with it." She was barely giving him anything to work with. People loved talking to him, they happily shared their lives with him, within two minutes of meeting him he would know about their spouses, kids, parents, jobs and even their medical issues. And women...most of the women her age were excited to talk to him, even the married ones, they would flirt and blush around him. He called out an instruction to the kids and tried again. 

"I wanted to do track, I liked the running, it's quiet and it's just you. No team to let down if you underperform, just your own expectations." He revealed more than he had planned to, he just wanted to talk to her and learn about her. She finally glanced at him, her eyes swept over his face and then she looked back at the kids. 

"I still run." She finally told him. That explained her legs and ass, tight toned...strong.

"You run on a track or outside?" He couldn't remember ever working so hard to talk to someone. 

"Why are you doing this?" She asked, her tone sounded tired or exasperated.

"Media day?" He questioned back, knowing what she meant but not knowing the answer.

"Talking to me. The ice is filled with your adoring fans and reporters to talk to. Why are you wasting time with me?" She didn't look at him, she kept her eyes forward and her face impassive, but he noticed her knuckles whiten where she gripped the hockey stick in her hand.

"I...just," Why was he here? Why was he trying to talk to her, get to know her? He didn't know the answer to that and it was frustrating. "I saw your teaching the kids some shitty stick techniques and figured I would help them before you taught them any bad habits. I certainly didn't come here to waste my time with you." He tried to keep his face as impassive as hers, but his voice betrayed him, he sounded rude and condescending. 

"I'll leave it to you then...Golden Boy." She threw at him as she turned and skated away. He had never heard the term used as an insult and it hurt. How did she find the one phrase that he despised? He hadn't voiced it to anyone, ever. "Bitch." He muttered to himself and refocused on the kids, calling out some advice to a few of them. 

Anne tried to calm her breathing, counting to ten and breathing in through her nose, slowly out through her mouth. Why was Gilbert Blythe doing this? That first phone call her had been friendly, and then every other interaction he had been short, terse and even rude. And now he was trying to make small talk with her? She didn't deny he was attractive, he was so hot, with his dark curls and intense eyes. But he was famous, talented and had no trouble making friends, what did he want from her? And why was he always so hot and cold with her? She was still struggling to calm herself when Pete approached her. "Anne we're going to the game in New York next week, maybe Boston. We'll fly with the team, get us rooms at the same hotel. Oh and I need jerseys signed by Cooper and Lindgren, and Blythe, for a charity auction thing tonight, by five." It was already 4:10, she was going to have to do this herself. 

She got the jerseys from Benny, he was in charge of maintaining the uniforms, and made her way to the locker room. She asked the security guards at the door to make sure the players were all dressed before she entered, to a chorus of hoots and whistles, she blushed but she knew that was the tradition of the team when a woman entered the locker room. She tried not to look at any of the ones without shirts on, just glad they all had pants on.

"Good afternoon Gentlemen, Pete has requested signed jerseys by 5pm. So Anders, Caden and Gilbert...." She held up the jerseys and a sharpie. The men in question made their way over to her, she ignored Gilbert as best as she could, he waited while Anders signed first and then Caden. Gilbert signed and then handed her the sharpie and jersey, their fingers brushing in the hand off, she felt goosebumps on her neck at that brief touch, she could smell the scent of the soap he used in the shower. It wasn't the strong overpowering, strong smell most men wore, it smelled almost woodsy, pine and woodsmoke. He held her eyes for a second before turning away and walking back to his locker and began pulling on his coat. "Thanks guys." She said and left. 

Just outside the door she dropped the sharpie, and it rolled toward the security guard on the right side of the door, she smiled after he bent down and picked it up, holding it out to her. Just as she said thanks, the locker room door opened again and Gilbert walked out, looking down at his cell phone, Caden Cooper's voice following him. "Saw you talking to Anne on the ice today. You gonna throw that dog a pity fuck Blythe?" Followed by a chorus of laughter.

Her heart clenched and her stomach dropped, she saw the guard look at her with pity in his eyes, and she hated that. It infuriated her. Gilbert saw her there, realized right away she had heard the unkind words of Caden and froze, his eyes were wide and he looked ashamed, of what...she didn't know. She waited a second, straightened her spine and then offered a simple "Woof woof", before spinning on her heels and walking away. 'Never let them see you cry. Never let them see you cry.' She repeated to herself.

She finished her day, delivered the jerseys, filed some paperwork for Pete, checked her work emails and then left. She walked to Union station, the commuter hub of Toronto, got on to the subway and made her way home. She lived in Greektown, a small section in the eastern side of Toronto, where a lot of Greek immigrants and their descendants still lived. She shared a house, on Logan Ave with three other girls. She met one of them while she was in University, Diana Barry, and Diana had gladly brought Anne into her friend group. Diana was one of the most beautiful women Anne had ever met, and she was sweet, funny, cheerful, supportive and super smart. She worked at some fancy financial institution on Bay St., her paycheck alone could have paid the mortgage on the pretty little house on Logan, but Diana insisted she wanted her friends there too. So they also had Josie, an aspiring actress, who worked as a waitress in an upscale, exclusive club, owned by a famous rapper, and Ruby, a sweet, gentle girl who was a nurse. 

Anne arrived home to a quiet house, Josie and Ruby were working and Diana wasn't home yet. Anne went straight to her room and locked the door, Caden's words echoling in her mind, echos from long ago joined them, "Freckled faced freak", "ugly bitch", "dog" "polka dotted pig", she could see the pity in the guard's eye, the words seemed to come faster and faster, getting louder, she couldn't tune them out. She felt the tears threatening to spill, the painful lump in her throat, and the tight hurt in her chest. She wanted it to stop, she knew how. She went to her bedside table, in the back, behind her vibrator and some papers was an old Altoid tin, inside the tin, wrapped in a tissue was a razor blade. She lifted her shirt and without any hesitation she sliced it over her skin, leaving an inch long line of dark blood. She made a few more, each one taking away the pain in her heart. She didn't wipe the blood up right away, just stopped it from getting on her clothes, she enjoyed seeing the blood ooze from her, she imagined the pain in her life seeped out of those little slashes. After a while she stopped bleeding and she wiped the last of the blood away, pulled her shirt back down, washed off her razor blade, wrapped it back up and hid it in its tin back in her drawer. Then she changed into her running gear and went for a run.

When she got back from her run, Diana was home, watching TV, while she sipped a glass of wine and read some work papers. 

"Anne, I saw you on the news! I didn't realize all those hockey players were so hot! You really need to hook me up with one of them." She laughed.

"I'll just bring you to the arena, they'll come to you." Anne joked back. 

"You looked so good though! I forgot you could skate, we should all go together some time." Diana was always thinking of fun excursions for them to do as a group. There had been paintball, exploring caves with Native drawings inside of them, axe throwing, escape rooms and pole dancing class. Anne loved that Diana lived for adventures, Anne wanted to be like that, but had never really been that way, she dreamed big dreams but never followed through, afraid of failing, afraid of succeeding. She wouldn't even have her job with the Maple Leafs, if Diana hadn't forced her to apply, ignoring all of Anne's excuses and insisting Anne was qualified. 

"Have you eaten yet?" Anne asked. 

"I did. Picked us up some food from Astoria." Their favourite Greek restaurant. 

"You are a saint." Anne declared and headed for the kitchen, finding the food, still warm on the counter, chicken souvlaki, on rice and potatoes with a greek salad and extra tzatziki...heaven. She took her dinner, still in the round foil container, back to the living room and sat beside Diana.

"Rough day?" Diana asked, studying Anne. 

"Nothing I couldn't handle." She replied smoothly, and took a bite of her food.


	4. Chapter Four

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Gilbert tries to talk to Anne.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for all the feedback and support! I appreciate it all!

She somehow managed to avoid the players until the the away games in New York and Boston, she met Pete at the arena, thankful that they were driving over in a chauffeured car, and not on the team bus, with all of the players. Their uniform, skates, sticks, pads and everything they needed had sent over much earlier in the day and already loaded on the private plane. She had imagined she would be sitting with Pete, but he wanted to talk to the coach about some future prospects and the possibility of calling one of their junior players up. So she found a seat a few rows back from the front, with no one sitting in either seat, and attempted to put her carry on luggage in the overhead storage when another pair of hands, pushed the bag in and closed the door. It was Bash, he smiled down at her, she felt her stomach twist, was he one of the guys that had laughed at her? He had always been so kind to her, she hoped he wasn't a jerk. She thought again of the incident, Caden's words. It wasn't like she hadn't heard them before, growing up in the foster care system she heard it pretty regularly. If it wasn't the foster parents telling her she was hideous, the foster siblings could be counted on to come up with the best nicknames, freckled face freak, Cayenne Anne and Ugly Annie, being some of their favourites. 

"Thank you, Bash." She she said, trying to keep the nerves out of her voice. 

"Anytime, Anne. Haven't seen you on any road trips before." He put his own luggage in the overhead next to hers. 

"First time. First time on a plane actually." She remembered the long bus trip from Halifax to Toronto for university, it was the first time she had ever left Nova Scotia, she had been excited, scared, but those feelings were nothing compared to the butterflies in her stomach at the idea of the plane ride. One of the conditions for her job was a valid passport and the ability to travel when necessary...which meant whenever Pete demanded it, so she had to shove her fears down and do her job.

"It's a short trip to New York. We'll be on the ground before you get a chance to be scared." He offered her a reassuring squeeze to her shoulder and moved to his seat. She sat down next to the window, buckled her seat belt and looked at the emergency landing information. She saw Caden get on the plane, he walked by without seeing her, she was thankful for that, Gilbert was not long after him, smiling at the pretty flight attendant that greeted him. He looked down at her as he passed her seat and nodded a quick greeting to her, she didn't return it. She plugged her earbuds into her tablet and listened to some music while she tried to relax, trapped on a metal cylinder in the sky with a bunch of guys who clearly thought she was a joke, the idea kept bouncing around in her brain and was ratcheting up her anxiety. She held onto the arm rests while the plane taxied and despite wanting to close her eyes during takeoff, she kept them open and stared with fascination as the plane left the ground and steadily climbed. Once the fasten seatbelts sign was turned off, the flight attendants began serving drinks, she got a vodka and orange juice. The drink helped to relax her and she returned to her tablet, watching an episode of Buffy The Vampire Slayer, she had saved to it. 

"Can I sit here?" She heard him say, she knew who it was she didn't need to look. She shrugged, kept her earbuds in and continued to stare at the screen. She could feel him looking at her, waiting for her to face him. Well it would be a long wait indeed, she refused to acknowledge an asshole like him. He started to talk but she turned up the volume to drown him out, only to have him pull one of the buds out of her ear. 

"Do you mind?" She asked him quietly.

"I do mind. I'm trying to apologize to you." His eyes were flashing with flecks of gold and his brows were furrowed with a deep crease between them, she could see his jaw clenching. She refused to play his game, the one where he clearly expected her to graciously accept whatever lame attempt at an apology he intended to make. 

"So apologize." She faced forward, and pulled the other ear bud out, letting him know he had her attention.

"I just wanted to say sorry for what Coop said the other day."

"Which part?" She queried. Furious with him. How dare he mention that to her? She turned to face him again. 

"Which part?" He repeated, confusion clouding his face.

"Which part are you sorry for? The part where I was called a dog, or the part where he asked about pity fucking me?" She was sick of this, she wasn't try to date any of them, she didn't flirt, she didn't bring attention to herself, she was just trying to do her job. Why couldn't they just ignore her? She knew she was ugly, she didn't need people reminding her of that everyday.

Gilbert was regretting his decision to apologize to Anne. He had been sitting in his seat, listening to Bash say something about Dellie and found himself thinking of Anne again. How she'd refused to acknowledge him when he got on the plane, how her face had looked when she heard Caden's words, her smiled dropped, her eyes went so round at first and then the briefest flash of pain was there and immediate replaced with a neutral expression, and she had woofed at him. He was so angry at Caden, he wanted to smash in his face, and he was furious with himself. He hadn't said anything, he had seen her face, that glimpse of pain, and he hadn't said anything, he hadn't tried to comfort her, he had been ashamed of himself initially, for not speaking up. Now he was mad at himself...for being a coward. 

So he pretended to go to the washroom and on the way back, stopped by her seat, and tried to apologize. He had hoped by apologizing he could make up for not speaking up, and maybe he would feel better about himself, lessen the guilt. Anne wasn't accepting his apology however, she was actually making him feel worse, uncomfortable, looking at him and repeating the awful words. The worse he felt the more defensive he began to feel. He hadn't done anything to her, he hadn't said those words. It wasn't his job to stand up for her. Who the hell was she to be mad at him when he was innocent in the matter. 

"For fucks sake, I don't know why I even bothered." He finally said to her. 

"Neither do I." She put the earbuds back in her ears and returned her eyes to her tablet, essentially dismissing him. He was stupefied for a moment, he honestly could never recall anyone treating him like this. Ignored? He didn't like it. He rose from the seat and made his way back to the seat beside Bash, but not before he passed Cooper, who imitated a dog by whimpering. 

"You can't be that hard up for a piece of ass Blythe. Any chick in Toronto would fuck you." Cooper said coming to stand next to Gilbert at his locker, they were in the dressing room for the visiting team in Madison Square Gardens.

"Fuck off Coop." Gilbert was not in the mood. 

"She is such a Butter Face. I mean she's got a hot little body, but her face." He laughed at his own joke. 

"Why do you have to be such a douche?" Gilbert asked him. 

"Hey now...I haven't said anything everyone isn't thinking. She's a five and that's being generous, you are a ten. You are out of her league."

"Get back to your own locker, Coop." Bash stepped in, "And didn't your mother teach you to respectful of all women?"

"Sorry Gramps." Caden took a shot at Bash's age as he walked away. 

"I'm really starting to dislike him." Bash muttered and Gilbert had to agree. 

"Want to get a beer in the bar?" Anders asked him and Bash as they made their way through the hotel after the game. None of them were in a good mood, they lost in overtime, Gilbert had a terrible performance, no goals, no assists and he turned the puck over not once but twice. 

"I'm going to call my girl and check on her and the baby." Bash said, he almost never went out after a game, and Gilbert had never seen him hooking up with fans. Bash was true to his wife, Mary, Gilbert admired that, was a bit jealous of that, but not resentful toward Bash for having it, he was happy that Bash found someone that supported his ever decision, loved him unconditionally and effortlessly.

"Not feeling it, I'm going to head up too." Gilbert said good night to Anders, and he and Bash waited for the elevator. When it came he pressed the six floor button, Bash was on the same floor. The doors were almost closed when Gilbert noticed Anne walking toward them, he was going to press the "door close" button, to avoid her, but Bash stuck his hand out and stopped the door from closing. 

"Anne! Come in, we couldn't let the door just shut in your face, right Blythe?" Bash exclaimed, Gilbert tried not to roll his eyes. 

"Thanks. Tough game tonight." She said simply. 

"Can't win them all." Bash agreed, every move, play, faceoff, shot would be dissected by the coaches and the team practice would be a tough one, going over the mistakes and bad decisions again and again. "What floor Anne?"

"Six...oh you're on the same floor." She noticed the button already lit up. 

"621." Bash confirmed., Gilbert was in 619 but didn't volunteer that information, he just stared at the lights for the floors lighting up. 

"I'm 612." She offered just as the light lit up for the 6th floor and the door opened, Bash and Gilbert waited for Anne to exit and then followed her out, all of them walking in the same direction.

"Good night." She said at her hotel room door, unlocked the it and went inside. They continued on and said goodbye and went in their rooms. He changed out of his suit and tie, and put on some jogging pants and a t shirt, brushed his teeth and got into bed, scrolling through his phone with CNN on in the background. He couldn't keep Anne off his mind, he kept replaying their conversation on the plane, trying to think of different ways to start the conversation, failing miserably each time. Maybe he should try one more time, "When I see her tomorrow I can apologize again, make her believe me." He said to himself. Why wait? He thought, it wasn't that late, he could just pop over to her room and apologize and they could start again as...friends.

He left his room and walked to hers, looked down the hall to make sure no one was around and knocked on her door. He heard her come to the door and saw a shadow over the peephole and then she opened the door, confusion and annoyance on her face.

"Look before I mess it up, may I please try and apologize to you again?"

"What makes you think it will turn out any different?" She asked, clearly annoyed with it all.

"Let me try please?"

"Fine." She moved to the side and let him enter the hotel room. Once inside her began, not wanting to waste the chance.

"I am sorry, sorry that you had to hear those things, they are disgusting and untrue. And I am sorry that I didn't say anything then, to you and to Cooper. I should have told him to shut his mouth and made him apologize, I was a coward and I am sorry." He tried to sound as sincere as possible, hoping she would forgive him. She didn't say anything for a few moments, just studied him, like was trying to determine if he was being real or not. 

"I appreciate it. Thank you." She finally said. 

"Can we start over? I wasn't the nicest to you and I am sorry for that too."

"You were kind of rude, but sure let's start from scratch."

"Great." He stood there smiling, but not knowing what to say next. She had a small smile on her face but she still looked uncomfortable. "So I guess I should be going. I'll see you tomorrow. Night." He moved to the door and opened it, before he could leave she asked. 

"What did you mean when you said what Caden said was untrue?"

"He's an idiot." Gilbert replied, shutting the door again and turning to face her. "You aren't a dog. And besides dogs are adorable, loving, loyal and everyone loves them. I don't know why being called one is considered an insult." He rambled out words. He didn't even know if they made sense. 

"Thanks for that I think." Her dimples flashing. 

"It's a good thing."He stared at her, and she didn't look away for once, and he wondered how he had ever thought she should cover up her freckles, they were beautiful, he wanted to trace his fingers over them. He wanted to kiss them. He felt himself leaning in, and jumped back. "Night. See you tomorrow." And then he left the room. His heart racing, thoughts jumbled, he almost kissed her. She might be prettier than he had thought, but he had dated models and actresses...he couldn't be with someone like her. The guys would never let him live it down.


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Two steps forward, one step back.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Wow, your feedback has blown my mind. I was really worried about response to this GIlbert, I'm really afraid after this chapter. Thanks as always.
> 
> Going to an actual Maple Leaf game tomorrow night, I'll try to get the next chapter finished tonight, if not, it won't be til Friday.

He went back to her room, and knocked, she answered the door in a t shirt that barely covered her ass. "You're back." She smiled. "Come in." She let him in and locked the door. 

"I just wanted to be sure you were alright." He told her. 

"You're such a good friend." She replied, reaching her arms up to hug him, but it wasn't a friendly hug. She pressed her breasts against his chest, her legs against his, his dick against her belly, her fingers twisted in the hair at the nape of his neck, he felt shivers down his spine at her gentle touch. 

"Anne?"

"Touch me, please." She begged, her face in his neck, her breath on his ear. He couldn't resist her, he put one arm around her waist, holding her against him and raised his over hand to trace her jaw. Then he leaned in and finally pressed his lips to hers, moaning into her mouth as she opened her lips for his tongue. The hand around her waist moved lower and grabbed her ass, his dick filled with blood, when he discovered she wasn't wearing panties, sliding his fingers between her legs, dipping one into her, wet heat, wanting to taste her, to fuck her. 

"Jesus Christ Blythe...have a bit of dignity. You're slumming it with a total uggo." Caden Cooper's voice filled his ears. He lifted his head, and he saw Caden there, somehow they weren't in Anne's room anymore, but they were on the ice, at the arena, the seats were filled with people laughing at him, he could see his dad there, sitting in the stands, looking disappointed. 

He woke with a start, laying in his hotel room bed. His heart pounding, trying to catch his breath, shame and embarrassment flooding through him. The laughter from the dream still ringing in his ears. That wasn't the kind of dream you had about a friend. 

The next morning he was sitting with Bash and a few of the guys eating breakfast in the hotel restaurant, when he saw Anne come in and look around nervously, trying to figure out where she was going to sit. He remembered his dream the desire and the shame, and thought to ignore her, but the scared look on her face prompted him to wave at her and called her name. "Anne! Come sit with us." She smiled at them and joined them, taking the empty seat between Bash and Joe. 

"Morning everyone." She greeted them softly, blushing when they all replied with their own good mornings." 

"Ready for you second ever trip on a plane, Anne?" Bash asked cheerfully, while eating his eggs. 

The group fell into an easy conversation, Gilbert took the time to study Anne, she had her hair back in a ponytail, a cream coloured blouse, and black dress pants on, he thought she looked very polished, fresh and effortless. He couldn't help but remember the way she had looked and felt in his dream, he blushed and looked down at his plate of food. She wasn't his type, he liked blondes, why was he even dreaming about her or working so hard to be her friend? 

Cooper came in at that moment and saw Anne at their table, and howled like dog. Gilbert stood up with his fists balled, ready for a fight, Bash grabbed his arm and pulled him back into his seat. 

"Not here." He warned softly. 

"It's fine. It's not worth any trouble." Anne told them all, he could see she was desperately trying to hide her hurt. 

"You're an asshole Coop." Gilbert called over to him, only to be met with laughter. "Fucking prick." Gilbert growled. 

"I'd better go pack and check in with Pete. See you on the plane." She stood and left the restaurant. Gilbert waited five minutes and then left too, shooting a murderous look at Caden beforehand. 

He went right to her room and gently knocked. When she opened it, she kept it cracked and peeked out at him, she looked sad. "You alright?" He asked.

"It's funny how it never gets easier to hear...no matter how many times you hear it."

"He's stupid. He's a dumb shit that knows nothing." 

She smiled a sad smile, "You're sweet to check on me, but I know what I am."

"What's that?" He was almost afraid to ask.

"An ugly freckled face freak." She admitted, her voice hitching a bit. His stomach clenched at her words, at the resignation on her face.

"I don't think that. I think you are breathtaking." He said and realized it was true. 

"Don't do that, Gilbert. Don't lie to me to make me feel better." She turned from the door, allowing it to open up more and he took the opportunity to enter her room. 

"I'm not lying. I think you are beautiful."

"Well you are the only one." She began throwing clothes into her open suitcase on the bed. He walked over to her and put an arm around her shoulders, and pulled her against his chest, wanting to comfort her.

"Well they're stupid then." He said against her hair, she let him hold her, she was tense at first and then he felt her relax and put her arms around his waist, pressing the side of her face against his shoulder. She smelled sweet, like vanilla, and he couldn't help but wonder how she tasted, when she looked up at him, eyes shining with unshed tears, he lost all willpower, and he bent his head to taste her lips. As he grew closer, her eyes went wide but she didn't pull away, she let him kiss her, a gentle exploration of her lips, when she finally kissed him back and opened her mouth for his tongue he held back a groan. He grabbed her face in his hands and tilted her head, giving him more access to her mouth, her lips, when she mewled into his mouth, he felt his cock start to fill with blood. He knew he should stop, she was sad, vulnerable, probably lonely, she had almost no self confidence...he should really stop. He didn't though, he reached up and began to undo the buttons on her blouse, she stiffened and pulled back, breaking the kiss. 

"I'm sorry...I shouldn't..." He began to apologize for being so forward.

"Draw the curtains." She told him, she moved to take the suitcase off the bed and turn out the lights, he pulled the blackout curtains closed and it was nearly pitch black in the room, just the light from the washroom allowing them to see a bit. 

"Are you sure?" He asked her. 

"I'm sure." She answered, moving to sit on the edge of the bed, to take off her shoes. He walked over to her and took off his shirt, she reached up and let her hands wander over his abs and chest, before reaching for his belt and unbuckling it, the button and zipper were soon opened as well. While he pushed the jeans and shoes off, she stood quickly and pulled her pants off, and climbed under the blanket, he noticed she kept her shirt on until she was under the blanket, she must be one of those girls that preferred the lights off. He got the condom in his wallet out and put it on the table next to the bed, and then got in the bed with her, pulling her against him, her skin felt so warm and soft, he kissed her shoulders and neck, loving the way she moaned when he sucked on her collarbone. He pushed the cups of her bra down so he could move his mouth to her nipples, squeezing and pinching one, while his lips and tongue feasted on the other, she kept on hand in his hair, gently massaging his scalp, and the other was running up and down his back. He moved lower, kissing the skin on her ribs, and began to go lower but she stopped him. 

"We have to be in the lobby by two, I still need to pack and you have to change. We don't have much time." She reminded him, it was already almost one, he had to change into the suit and tie that they were required to wear when arriving at a game. 

"Fuck." He groaned in frustration. 

"It's ok, I'm ready if you are." She told him. Ready? If she meant was he hard yet, he was harder than he could remember. 

"I'm ready, I just really wanted to..." He wasn't sure how she felt about that kind of sexual talk, he wanted to eat her pussy but would she like it if he said it? "To make you feel good."

"You already are. Get the condom." She told him, pulling off her panties. He shoved his own underwear down, grabbed the condom and rolled it down over his cock, Then he climbed on top of her, between her legs, he ran his fingers over her, feeling that was indeed ready, he took that moment to raise his fingers to his lips and licked her juices off his fingers. 

"Fuck, I wish we had time, you taste so sweet." He loved going down on a girl, but because he usually just had one night hook ups, he didn't get to do it that much. She rocked her hips toward him, causing his dick to slide up and down her sex, she gasped at the sensation and he was done waiting. He positioned himself at her opening and slowly slid in, she was so hot, so fucking tight. She moaned, locked her heels behind his back and pulled him down to kiss her, taking him deeper. He reached his hand between their bodies and rubbed her clit in small circles. 

"Yes, like that." She whispered, so he maintained his hands actions and continued to thrust into her, kissing her lips, ears, neck, tits...wherever his lips landed. Her nails were digging into his back and she was making small whimpering noises, in between her moans. He could tell she was getting close to her orgasm because she held him closer and broke their rhythm, frantically pumping her hips in a chaotic pattern. Watching her come, eyes closed, back arching, teeth biting her lips, hearing her whispered "Oh God..." Sent him over the edge and he came a moment later, resting his face between her tits, her legs still wrapped around his waist. He could feel the walls of her pussy, trembling around his dick, still buried inside of her. 

After a few moments she gently pushed at his shoulders, "We need to get ready." She reminded him. He pulled out of her and got out of the bed, went into the washroom, wrapped the condom in a tissue and threw it in the trash, when he went back out, she already had her blouse back on and was buttoning her pants. He grabbed his underwear, now on the floor and put them back on, Reaching for his jeans, suddenly realizing what he had done. He shouldn't have done that to her. She was sad and hurt and he fucked her while she was in a vulnerable state. No matter how good it was, for them both, he shouldn't have done that. He only just apologized to her 14 hours ago. Apologized, he had apologized because her had felt bad, now he felt worse, what would Bash say? Then he felt his heart squeeze, what would Caden say? He quickly finished dressing, tied up his shoes and stood awkwardly for a moment. 

"This was really great, but we should keep it between ourselves, yeah?" It was dark enough that he couldn't see her expression clearly, but he thought he saw her flinch.

"No problem." She agreed. 

"See you on the plane."

"Yeah."

After he left, she locked the door again, turned on the lights and stared at herself in the mirror. "Not only ugly but stupid too." She told herself. She was so stupid to do that, to fuck him, no matter how good he made her feel at the time, now she felt worse than before. She had felt desirable, while he kissed her and wanted her...but she was too ugly to be someone he acknowledge in public. She should have known better. She went to her toiletry bag and found the Altoid tin. She knew how to make this pain go away.


	6. Chapter Six

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Anne and Gilbert both try and cope with their feelings.
> 
> Warning this one mentions Anne's self harm.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you all are spending Valentine's Day the you want to! Thanks as usual for all the support, kudos and comments. I love reading your responses, and how invested you all get.

When he got back to his room, he was a nervous wreck, he's never had a panic attack before but he felt like he was on the verge of one. He was having trouble catching his breath, his heart was pounding and he could feel tears, streaming down his face. He had hurt her, horribly, he knew that, that was awful, that's why he was crying...it wasn't the fear that everyone would find out and make fun of him. Make fun of her. It would be ok, he repeating to himself, again and again and he tried to regulate his breathing. He just needed to calm down, then he could figure out a way out of this. He sat on the edge of the bed and put his head between his knees and slowed his breathing, after a few minutes his breathing was back to normal, then he got his suit out of the closet and started to get ready, no time for a shower. When he pulled his t shirt off, he noticed reddish brown smears on his stomach, he thought maybe he had a scratch from Anne's fingernails, but couldn't see anything in the mirror, he washed it off at the sink and forgot about it, hurried to get ready and packed up. He felt his stomach roiling at the idea of going down to the bus, he was sure Cooper would know what happened. 

He jumped when someone knocked on his door...was it Anne? Would she make a scene? Tell their secret? "Blythe, you ready?" Bash called through the door.

"Yeah, one second." He put his wallet and phone in his pockets, grabbed his suitcase and carry on bag and met Bash in the hall. 

"Jesus, you look like shit. What happened?" Bash asked him, studying his face.

"I think the eggs were off at breakfast. My stomach doesn't feel right." Gilbert half lied, his stomach did not feel right.

"You going to be alright to play tonight?"

"Yeah...I'll be fine." He hoped that was true.

He didn't see her in the lobby, just got on the bus, put in his ear buds and tuned everyone out. She wasn't on the plane when he boarded, he wondered if she was coming at all. Had he hurt her so much that she quit? Or was just going back to Toronto? He sat on an aisle seat, beside Bash and fiddled with his phone, sending some texts to a few friends. Ignoring the one from Matthew Cuthbert, it was mostly just a check in to see how he was doing after his disastrous game the night before, but Gilbert didn't know what to say. Even if he simply replied "off night, gotta focus" he felt like Matthew would know somehow. Would know that Gilbert was making some stupid life decisions and hurting a really nice person like Anne.

He heard her laughing and he looked up, she was with Pete and Pete was wildly gesturing, while talking to the flight attendant. She looked radiant, her hair back in the smooth ponytail, he saw no trace of their...what was it? Tryst? Fuck? Lovemaking? Hookup? Pete greeted everyone he walked past, including Gilbert and Bash, Anne smiled and nodded as she walked by, and he felt his heart skip a beat, as he drank in the sight of her, he knew how soft that skin felt, how her hair smelled like vanilla, how smooth the blouse felt under his fingers, he noted that she had a dark rust coloured stain on her blouse, right above where it was tucked into the waistband of her trousers, he remembered how she tasted on his fingers and his mouth began to water, and he felt ashamed for still wanting to fuck her, after he told her not to tell anyone. He couldn't help but sneak a look toward Cooper, who was trying to choose an inflight movie. 

"You're tense today." Bash noticed. "You sure everything is alright?"

"Yeah...just hoping I play better than last night."

"You know you can talk to me Gilbert, not just about hockey. I'm here for you, Brother." Bash, held his gaze, studying his face and he was worried he would see, would know. Would be disappointed.

"I know. I'll be fine. Just got to focus." He insisted. 

She didn't know how she did it, she held it together, on the plane, in Boston, during and on the plane back to Toronto. Pete and the coach decided they were skipping the hotel in Boston and going straight back to Toronto after the game, they wanted to try and fix some issues with the team after the back to back losses in New York and Boston. Seeing him had hurt, she felt like crying when she saw him, she felt like cutting...but she had done so many after he left her room earlier. The cuts were deep, deeper than she usually made, they took longer to stop bleeding and opened easily and started to bleed again. She had to wear her jacket the entire time when she noticed her blouse had a few marks on it. 

She arrived at the house on Logan Ave, at 1am, it was quiet, all the girls asleep or working and went to her room and unpacked, sat on her bed and fought with herself, to cry or cut. She knew she couldn't cut anymore...if she got that razor blade out it would be bad, she wouldn't stop. She went to Diana's room and knocked on the door, softly. "Diana, it's Anne."

"Come in." Diana's sleepy voice called out. At Anne's face she sat right up. "What's wrong?" She pulled Anne into the bed with her, wrapping her arms around her and holding her while Anne cried out her pain in huge gut wracking sobs, not even able to articulate what she was crying about. After a while she calmed down, with Diana rubbing her head, she began to tell her everything. 

"I'll kick his ass!" Diana vowed.

"Diana..."

"No! This asshole thinks he can sleep with you and you can be his little secret? I don't give a fuck if he is considered the hero of the Toronto Fucking Maple Leafs. He isn't even that hot." She was riled up now, clearly furious with his callow treatment of Anne.

"He kind of is." Anne noted.

"No one is so hot that they can treat a wonderful, beautiful...yes...beautiful, kind, selfless, loyal, honorable person like that. He's an asshole. Must have a small dick." Anne shook her head to indicate that wasn't the case. "For fuck sake, this guy has everything going for him and he has to be a complete dick. He's just lucky you won't let me wait for him outside the arena, with a sock full of nickels."

Anne smiled wryly, Diana always threatened to beat people up with a sock full of nickels...something she had never actually done, as far as Anne knew. "What are you going to do?" Diana asked her.

"Nothing. I'm going to keep doing my job, be professional when I see him and carry on. Never mention it again."

"And what about this Caden Cooper? There are codes of conduct, rules and laws against bullying and harassment. Even if you are a famous hockey player."

"Nothing I can't handle." Anne tried to sound confident.

"Are you sure? Are you cutting again?" Anne didn't answer. "I know it's bad if you are telling me about this." Diana was the only person beside her therapist, that knew Anne cut herself. She'd seen Anne's cuts while in college and had helped Anne find a doctor she could trust.

"I will be fine. I'll make an appointment with Dr. Clifford tomorrow, when his office opens. And I will just do my coping techniques and avoid them all as much as I can. "

"Don't let this fester. I'm glad you came to me, and do not ever hesitate to talk to me. Anytime."

"I won't. I am so lucky to have you."

"I'm the lucky one." 

Anne, stayed with Diana the rest of the night, sleeping next to each other, feeling safe and loved.

He got a text from her a week later. 

Anne - Pete wants to remind you about the surprise visit to the school tomorrow.  
Gilbert - Thanks, where are we meeting?  
Anne - He's sending a car for you and Bash to your places, be ready by 8:30am  
Gilbert - Thx

He typed out three more messages "How are you" "Can we talk?" "I'm sorry" He didn't send any of them.   
She'd been on his mind nonstop, even on the ice when he should be laser focused the game, thoughts, scents, memories would pop up, they hadn't caused him to make any mistakes and the mini slump he had in New York and Boston, seemed to be gone and he was back to his usual performance. He still didn't feel like himself though, he had never been so preoccupied by anyone, even when his dad was sick and dying, he hadn't filled every moment of Gilbert's thoughts, like Anne did. And he didn't know why, he tried to tell himself it was the guilt, he felt bad and until he knew she was alright, he wouldn't be able to get her off his mind. He also theorized that it was the sex, it had be really good, intense and over too soon, it was just that he didn't get the full experience, didn't see her fully naked bathed in sunlight, didn't get to see her face when she came, didn't get to look up at her eyes, while he had his tongue on her clit. He thought that time and distance would sort everything out but it hadn't, he still thought about her constantly, he would scan the boxes where Pete sat during the games, hoping to get a flash of red hair, never seeing it. 

He waiting in the lobby to his condo the next morning for the car to take him to the school. He and Bash were surprising the kids there during an assembly, the children had come together to raise money and awareness for organ donation. One of their fellow students, a 12 year old boy, had died waiting for a heart transplant, when the Leafs organization heard about it, they wanted to cheer them up, add their names to the cause and hopefully help them raise even more money, and congratulate them all for working to help others. Bash and Gilbert had volunteered to attend, they both loved the kids and Bash's mother in law was waiting for a kidney donation, living on dialysis for the time being. 

A large black SUV pulled up and saw Bash wave at him from inside, so he walked out and climbed inside, hesitating for a second when he saw Anne in the row of seats behind Bash. "Oh...good morning." He greeted her. 

"Morning." She replied cheerfully, not looking up from her phone. She didn't join the conversation as he and Bash talked about the game the night before and the away games coming up. At the school, he got out and waited while Bash helped her out, noting that she had on a tight black skirt that ended just below her knees. 

"I didn't think about climbing around in a car when I got ready this morning." She laughed at Bash. She was wearing heels and was nearly Gilbert's height with them on, her calves were toned and he couldn't help but remember them around his waist. Inside they were greeted by the Principal and the Vice Principal, the kids were already in the assembly and they would join them in a few moments. Gilbert wasn't sure what they were saying because Anne had removed her winter coat and Gilbert had lost the ability to think, her black skirt was high waisted and she had a pale blue blouse on, tucked into the skirt, top three buttons undone, revealing her neck and a glimpse of her collar bones, a thin gold chain with a heart locket, drawing his eyes to the swell of her breasts. He licked his lips remembering how her skin tasted, the way she moaned when he sucked her nipples. 

"Blythe, you awake?" Bash elbowed him to get his attention.

"Yeah. We going in now?"

"Yes."

They walked in and as the kids began to notice them, the cheering started. He let Bash take the lead and stood beside him while her delivered a speech about how important it was to help others through charity, but through organ donation as well. The kids nearly lost their minds when the boxes of Leaf t shirts came out and Gilbert announced that the Leafs were not only matching the amount of money raised but doubling it and that the entire school would be invited to come and see the Leafs play at a home game one night. They helped hand out the T shirts, signed autographs and posed for pictures. He couldn't help noticing that a tall dark haired man had approached Anne and she was throwing her arms around him and hugging him hard. He narrowed his eyes and felt something he had never felt before, in his stomach, hot anger burned there and he wanted to shove that guy away from Anne. He knew he must be experiencing jealousy. and he was almost staggered by it. Why would he be jealous? They were friends. More like work acquaintances really, nothing to be jealous of. Despite this he slowly made his way over to the two of them, stopping to talk with the kids that wanted his attention. When he finally got to them, they were typing their phone numbers into each others phone. 

"Hey, Bash and I have an 11:30 practice, he reminded her.

"Right. I got distracted." She chuckled at the guy. Gilbert wanted to punch the happy grin off the stupid guy's face. "Oh Jerry, this is Gilbert Blythe, Gilbert this is Jerry Baynard, an old friend."

"Old friend?" Jerry raised his eyebrow at that and laughed.

"Don't start." She laughed, Gilbert hated that someone else was making her smile and laugh, since he never made her smile, not in her eyes, like she was now. "We should go, I'll text you." She told Jerry and waved to Bash, who had a kid under each arm and one literally wrapped around his leg.

Gilbert waved goodbye to the kids, thanked the staff and went out to the car, putting in his earbuds and checking the phone, he was pissed and he knew he had no right to be. He stayed quiet and refused to engage in conversation with Bash and Anne, on the way to the arena. He jumped right out of the car when they got there and headed inside, without a word to either of them.


	7. Chapter Seven

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Gilbert is not in a good place.
> 
> ***This chapter is a sensitive one, lots of talk about self harm and rape. Please do not read if you may be triggered or hurt.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is a heavy chapter, I can't wait to see what you all think after. Kind of scared too. 
> 
> As always, thank you for the support, feedback and love.

"You may be my brother but I will beat the shit out of you if you keep hurting her." Gilbert heard Bash say, he was walking toward the locker room and Bash had left Anne by the car and caught up to Gilbert. 

"I don't know what you're talking about." Gilbert lied, pausing to look around and make sure no one was there to hear. 

"I'm no moke, Blythe, don't treat me like one." Bash persisted. "She won't look at you, you're staring at her, blushing, nice one moment hostile the next."

"I...there's nothing going on. We need to get ready." He walked away.

"I'm here for you, no matter what." Bash called out to Gilbert's back.

He was fucked, if Bash knew something had happened...how long til everyone knew? He tried to focus on the ice but it felt like a cold, icy hand was around his throat, he was slow on his skating drills, even fell a few times, to his utter humiliation. "First day on skates?" Cooper laughed as he literally skated circles around Gilbert. 

"Fuck off." Gilbert replied. It only got worse, he missed the majority of shots...at an empty net. The coach was yelling at him nonstop the entire practice, Cooper was laughing and Gilbert was close to breaking Coop's neck. 

"You guys stink. Get your shit together before tonight." The coach yelled at them before leaving them. Gilbert got his practice uniform and equipment off as fast as he could and took a shower, replaying every failed shot, bad pass, and fall. He hadn't ever had a practice like this before, not even as a kid. The more he thought about it the angrier he got, he thought about how he had been the best on the team, the league, it came so easily, the stick and the skates were like extensions of his own body...and now he was struggling. A small part of him tried to convince himself not to, but he turned all the frustration and anger toward Anne. None of this had happened to him before she arrived, she was a jinx, a distraction, he didn't know what but he was absolutely certain it was her fault. 

Anne was on her way back to her office after her lunch break, carrying her ice chai tea latte from Starbucks, sure it was winter, but it was her favourite treat, and after having to spend the morning with Gilbert, she needed a treat. She waved to a few other employees as she passed them and was almost at her office when she heard heavy steps behind her, it was Gilbert and he was walking straight toward her and he did not look happy. She didn't want to deal with him, she kept walking to her office, he followed her inside and shut the door, his hands clenched at his sides.

"It's not going to work." He stated. She noticed his eyes looked darker than usual, gone were the warm bedroom eyes, they were flashing with anger now, hostile and dangerous.

"What isn't?" She leaned against her desk, realizing how small her office was, there was only a few feet separating her and Gilbert, she could smell his shampoo or body wash.

"If you think I'm going to be jealous of some french guy...guess again." He growled and she could see he was vibrating with anger. What had him so angry? She was utterly confused.

"What french guy?" She thought of the few players on the team that were French-Canadian, she had never even talked to one of them.

"Jerry." He sneered with a horrible french accent, and she actually laughed at that. She shouldn't of laughed. He was on her then, holding on to her waist with one hand, the other grabbed her arm, holding her against his body, it felt rock hard, every one of his muscles was tensed. 

"You think I'm a fucking joke?" He asked, his voice low.

"No. I think it's funny that you would even consider being jealous of Jerry." She answered, he had her in his grip, tight but not painfully, with anyone else she might be frightened but with him she wasn't. She wanted this, a reaction, to see some physical confirmation that he felt something for her, even anger was preferable to disinterest. "He is rather tall, and teaching is one of the noblest professions." She pushed a bit. 

"Don't. Don't taunt me, Anne. You've been playing with me for weeks, now you trot out Jerry and I can't hit the fucking net to save my life. I'm sick of feeling powerless."

"Playing with you? Are you kidding me? You are the one that is kind one day, angry at me the next...for no reason. If you can't hit the net, that is your own failure...not mine. I'm just trying to do my job and live my life and you come storming into it and..." She was cut off by his lips against her own. The hand on her arm, moved to her hair and took the ponytail in his hand and pulled her head back, he deepened the kiss, she clung to his sweater, fighting for control over herself, gasping for breath. When he finally moved his mouth to her neck, and she took a huge gulp of air, her head cleared a bit, they were in her office...where they both worked.

"Gilbert, we shouldn't not here." She dug her fingers into his hair and held him against her, despite her words. 

"I can't stop thinking about you." He growled against her neck. "I want..." He didn't finish what he was saying instead he grabbed the hem of her skirt and began to pull it up, when his hands brushed against the skin of her thighs, she stopped caring about it being in her office, she wanted him again. His fingers skimmed over her hips and he took a hold of her panties and ripped it off of her, She instinctively wrapped her legs around his waist, and he ground himself against her, both of them moaning. He continued to kiss her neck, and when he started sucking, she shook her head. 

"No hickies..." He growled in frustration and she pulled her blouse open wider allowing him access to the skin there. "No marks where they can be seen." She relented and felt him begin to suck the skin below her collarbone. He slid a finger inside of her and she dug her nails into his hair, and whimpered, she had to bite her lip to stay quiet when he added another finger. When he started to kneel to go down on her, she remembered her scars. She had a lot of them on her upper thighs, some fresher cuts too, when she had made too many on her stomach she used her thighs. She couldn't let him see that, he would be disgusted by them...by her. "Gilbert no." She whispered, tears coming to her eyes, terrified he would see them.

"I need to Anne, I want to taste you. Please." He begged, he was down on his knees, in front of her and she wanted it too. Had wanted him to do it the night in New York, but had known he would feel the scabs, scars and fresh cuts she had just made before he knocked on the door. She couldn't help but recall how he had made her feel, only one other guy had been able to make her feel so good, to orgasm before, she wanted to feel like that again. When he brought his face to her pussy again, she didn't stop him. He pushed her legs apart and licked her clit, making her tremble and hold back a moan, he put one of her legs over his shoulder and began to lick and suck and drive her crazy, she had to cover her own mouth with her fist because she was so close to screaming his name out. 

Milk and honey, strawberries and cream, nectar and ambrosia...all the famous food and drink that were supposed to be the most delicious, those authors had clearly never been between Anne Shirley's legs. Gilbert would have spent the entirety of his life there, on his knees, devouring her, he was getting what he not only wanted but needed, his head began to clear a bit, the anger dissipated and he no longer felt angry toward her. He wanted to make her come, so many times, he wanted to sink inside of her and have her come on his dick again, in her office at the arena. 

But...she hadn't wanted to do this. He had stomped into her office and forced himself on her. He stopped abruptly, pulling away and looked up at her, She had said no, and he hadn't stopped. "Oh my God." He realized what he had done and jumped away from her, horrified at himself. Her face blanched and tears filled her eyes, she looked terrified. "I'm sorry..." He reached for her skirt and began to pull it down, trying to cover her, to cover his attack on her. His hand stilled, when he saw the cuts and scars on her legs. Had he done that to her? Had she struggled that much and he had hurt her? No they were older, some maybe a few days old, some maybe years. She pulled her skirt down the rest of the way, and moved away from him, hands shaking, she put her desk between them. 

"I think you should leave." She said flatly, avoiding looking at him, she started to sort through some papers. He had a million questions and apologies, but the coward that he was, chose to flee. He opened the door and turned to look at her one more time, her eyes were bright with tears, and he could see her lip trembling where she was trying not to cry. 

"I'm sorry Anne." And then he shut the door. 

He had walked directly from Anne's office to his condo and sat on the couch and cried, he would be arrested, everyone would know. His career was done, he had assaulted her, he deserved to rot in jail. He ignored his phone, the texts and calls coming every few minutes. He had a game in a few hours and he should be at the arena, preparing for it. When the pounding on his door couldn't be ignored anymore he opened it to see Bash standing there, a worried look on his face. "Christ Blythe...you're a mess." Bash said to him. "You need to get to the arena, we're both already late."

"I can't. I can't do it, Bash. I'm done." Gilbert babbled. 

"What are you talking about? What's wrong? Did you take something?"

"Just her dignity." Gilbert replied.

"What? You're scaring me Gilbert. What's happened?"

"It's over. I'll never play again"

"Let me take you to the hospital, or to the team doctor." Bash offered. The idea of going to the hospital sent Gilbert over the edge, he started hyperventilating, having another panic attack.

"I can't breathe." He gasped. Bash was beside him. 

"It's ok. Relax, I'm right here, you are fine, you can breathe, try to hold the next breath for a second." He rubbed Gilbert's back and his voice was soothing. Gilbert managed to hold the breath, "Good now let it out as slowly as you can. And do that again."

Finally Gilbert had his breathing under control, he was still a wreck, but he had to get to the arena. "I can't talk about it now, after the game. I promise."

The coach took one look at Gilbert's ashen face, red rimmed eyes, and near constant trembling and sent him right to the team doctor. He was relieved when the doctor ordered him to sit the game out. He stayed with the team while they got ready and had a pep talk from the coach, then the coach ordered him up to the owner's box to watch the game. The owner's box was where Pete watched the games, he dreaded seeing Anne there, would be that where she told everyone? To his relief neither Pete nor Anne were there, only a few other people were there and gave him space when they saw he wasn't in the mood for talking. 

He was happy they won, they would be okay without him, when he was fired and facing jail time, they could still be successful. He texted Bash he would meet him by the player's entrance, and waited there for him, Bash was out in record time. They went back to Gilbert's place and they each got a beer, sitting on the couch for several minutes. "I'm worried Brother, you're spinning out of control." Bash finally spoke up. 

"I am out of control. I did..bad doesn't cover it, I did something awful. I am so ashamed." He started to cry.

"Can you tell me?"

"I raped her." It came out as a strangled cry.

"Who?" Bash's eyes were wide with worry, horror and anger.

"Anne. She told me no and I didn't stop. I thought she was ok with it, she didn't say no again...and she seemed like she was enjoying it, but she was crying after..."

"Jesus Gilbert." Bash took another swig of his beer.

"I'm sorry Bash, I let you down, I let everyone down. My dad would be so disappointed in me."

"Gilbert..."

"One of our final conversations before he died was how much he loved my mom, how he wanted me to find love and to hold on to it. To respect women, treat them like queens, never to hurt them."

"Did you leave DNA?" Bash asked, "Bruises?"

"It wasn't sex, I...there would be some from my mouth and hands. No bruises, I didn't hit her or hold her down. I gave her a hickey though. There were some scratches or cuts but that wasn't me, I don't know how she got them."

"Ok..alright. I'm going to try and talk to Anne. I need to make sure she is safe. If she wants to report you, I'm not going to talk her out of it." Bash told Gilbert. 

"I understand, tell her I'm sorry and I won't resist or deny it." Gilbert slumped on his couch and covered his face, crying into his hands. "How did it get like this? I've never done this before Bash, I swear. I've been drunk as fuck and never forced a girl."

"You're a good guy Gilbert. You've done something horrible, but you recognize that. Now let's see how Anne is." Bash pulled out his phone and called Anne. "Anne, hi. I know it's late but can I come see you for a few minutes or we can meet for a coffee. It can't wait until tomorrow. Ok, text me the address, I'll Uber over there." He ended the call and turned to Gilbert. "I'll let you know how it goes brother. I love you no matter what."

Anne was watching for Bash, he had texted he was one minute away, she met him at the door and let him in. "Is everything alright?" She was worried Gilbert had told him about the cuts, would he tell Pete? She could just imagine the horrible things Caden Cooper would say if he knew.

"I'm here to find that out. Gilbert told me what happened."

"Oh..." She felt tears in her eyes, she didn't want pity. Bash looked so worried and scared, he was looking all over her face. 

"He's so sorry and he's willing to do anything you want."

"What can he do?" Did he think he could be a white knight and save the day?

"He said he won't deny it. If you want to report it." 

"I don't want anyone else to know."

"Are you sure? You may change your mind in the future."

"I'd rather just deal with this myself. I don't want anyone else to know. It's so embarrassing." The idea that everyone would know she self harmed, was mortifying.

"It's not your fault. You said no." Bash was trying to assure her but she suddenly became very confused. 

"I said no...to who? What?"

"To Gilbert, in your office. He forced you..." Bash wa looking confused now too. "Didn't he?"

"No! He thinks he raped me?" What was wrong with this guy?

"He said you said no, but he didn't stop. You were crying." Bash was trying to sort it all out too, but she was relieved he he may not know about her cutting."

"Oh....no, no, no, no. Shit. It was my office, at work, I didn't want to do it there. But I wasn't forced, at all."

"But the tears?" 

"I have body issues, he stopped suddenly and I thought he didn't find me attractive."

"Oh fuck. That poor guy is ready to give up everything because he thinks he raped you. Can I take you to his place, you two need to sort this all out. He's out of his mind with guilt."

"Of course, let's go."


	8. Chapter Eight

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Anne clears things up with Gilbert

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry this took so long, I had a busy weekend with my daughter's Birthday. Hope you all enjoy this chapter! Thanks for all the support, kudos and feedback, it means the world to me.

She didn't say much to Bash on the way to Gilbert's, he was texting his wife Mary most of the time and she was trying to calm the hurricane in her stomach. She didn't want to see him again, to feel all those emotions he brought out, confusion, shame, self-loathing...but worst of all he brought out hope. She hadn't admitted it to anyone, had barely let herself think of it, but when he touched her, kissed her, he made her feel beautiful, desirable. How many times could she let the hope blossom only to have it crushed out? He didn't want her, he just needed someone at the time. She was just convenient, there was nothing more there, she felt like they could be friends, they had a chemistry between them, when they weren't fighting or fucking, that she was sure could have resulted in them enjoying each others time and conversation, but that didn't seem plausible now. 

"My Mary says you can come back to ours, if you don't want to be alone tonight. She's a good ear to listen and a better shoulder to cry on." Bash interrupted her thoughts. 

"That is incredible kind of her, but my best friend is at home and she is always there when I need to talk. Please tell Mary, I am so grateful for her offer and I hope to meet her and that beautiful baby of yours one day soon. " After facing whatever it was she would confront at Gilbert's she would need to be with Diana, she was already feeling the urge to cut again, she really couldn't at this point, she had made so many just a few hours earlier when she got home.

"I'll get her to come to a game soon, sit in the box with you and Pete." Bash decided, as they were pulling up to a building in Liberty Village.

"I'd like that." 

The Doorman knew Bash well so they were let up to Gilbert's without fuss, she took a deep breath when Bash knocked on the door, rubbing her hand over her stomach, smoothing out the butterflies there. When he opened the door, she froze, he froze, they just stared at each other. He looked terrible, hair a mess, eyes and nose red from obviously crying, but still tragically handsome. 

"Anne...oh my God. I am sorry, I should never have..."

"Blythe, not in the hallway, let us in." Bash cut him off.

"Oh yeah..." Gilbert moved aside and let them in and closed the door. 

"Before you start rambling on Gilbert, Anne has told me most of what happened, and you didn't do anything wrong. She assures me you had her consent." She watched Gilbert's face, the despair replaced by confusion, and then relief, and then more confusion.

"Anne, is this true?" She avoided looking at Bash, the idea he knew that Gilbert had orally serviced her in her office was mortifying on a whole new level.

"Yes. You didn't do anything I didn't want."

"Are you sure? You don't have to worry about your job, or reputation. I will admit to everything." She felt her heart ache at that, it was easier for him to admit to raping her than that they both had consensual sex. 

"I am sure. It wasn't rape, or assault."

"Look, I'm going to get home to Mary, you two need to talk through this, communication is key in a relationship." Bash told them, first hugging Anne and then Gilbert. "Mary is making curry goat tomorrow, I'll bring you some."

"Thanks Brother." Gilbert said hugging Bash back, tightly.

"Anytime, anything. Know that. And make sure Anne gets into an Uber or taxi, safely." 

Gilbert watched the door close behind Bash and, turned to Anne. "I am so sorry about the confusion. I should have talked to you instead of running away. But I honestly thought I had crossed the line and I was horrified." He admitted, moving to sit on the couch, picking up his beer bottle, more to have something to do than desire to drink it.

"It's easy to see how you got to that conclusion." She sat on one of the chairs, across from him. 

"I just...you said no, and then you started to cry."

"My office isn't the ideal place for...that." 

"Shit, I'm sorry, I put you in an uncomfortable position." He thought back to the position, leaning back on her desk, one leg over his shoulder, one hand at her mouth to smother the noises, the other pulling his hair and his head, closer to her pussy. He felt his cock beginning to stir, now that he realized it was consensual, he remembered things that he hadn't before.

"Why did you cry? You looked sad and scared, it wasn't due to the orgasm." He knew women could sometimes cry from intense orgasms.

"Two." She said at his confused look she smiled. "Two orgasms, and on the way to a third when...I cried because I thought you were disgusted by me. You looked so repulsed."

"But not by you, I swear. It was by myself." They sat in silence for a while, Gilbert was trying to figure out a way to ask about the cuts ad scars.

"I have body issues. As you and everyone around can see, I am not attractive, as Caden likes to point out. When I saw the look on your face, it just made me feel..." Her eyes glistened with unshed tears. 

"I have already told you. I think you are beautiful. It wasn't a lie." Her face told him she didn't believe it and he decided not to push her. 

"I should go, it's late, we both have work in the morning." She reminded him. He had a 9 am practice and they were due to fly out to California for 10 days, for away games. 

"Ok, let me get you an Uber and walk you down."

The Uber was there when they got to the lobby, he hugged her goodbye, wanting to kiss her but not sure if it was the right thing to do, all things considered. 

"Good luck on the road." She said as she pulled away.

He nodded, "Thanks. Take care." He wanted to ask her if they could hang out when he got back, or if he could call her while he was away. He didn't.

"Anne get up! You have to come see!" Ruby barrelled into Anne's room, the next morning, 20 minutes before Anne's alarm clock was supposed to go off. 

"Why are you waking me up? " She groaned.  
"I'm just coming in from an overnight shift. There's something here for you." Ruby was almost dancing in her yellow scrubs with kittens all over them. 

"Alright. You win." She got out of bed and muttered something about mornings and excitable people. Downstairs she was greeted to a huge white flower delivery box, with her name on on the delivery order. 

"Open it! Who are they from? Anne!! Hurry up." Ruby encouraged her while Anne stared at the box. "I bet it's roses, red ones. So romantical. Or maybe pink ones, or white. Oh I'm so jealous and happy for you."

Anne opened the box and smiled at Ruby's disappointed "Oh..." There were at least two dozen flowers in there, a chaotic mixture of lilies, peonies, carnations, daisys, many Anne didn't know the names of, and even a few roses, yellow ones. It was a bright, cheerful spray of the very best of summer and spring, it smelled divine and Anne couldn't have loved them more. The card had a simple message. 

"Sorry, I'm a dumbass - Gilbert"

"Is he a romantic interest. Is he handsome? Wait...isn't there a hot guy on the Leafs named Gilbert? Are you dating him? Tell me everything." Ruby demanded.

"We're barely friends. It's an apology. For a misunderstanding." She tried to explain.

"You don't send a huge bouquet like that to a friend. You send a cactus." Ruby declared. 

"What is all the excitement?" Diana asked, coming into the kitchen and spying the flowers. "Flowers are a bit cliche no? He should be apologizing with a BMW." 

"Don't start Diana. I like them." She went to get a vase to put them in. These were the very first flowers that had ever been given to her. Ever, she was secretly thrilled, and placed them in the window where they would get some sunlight. "I have to get ready now. "

It wasn't until she was in the arena, sitting at her desk that she allowed herself to send him a message. 

Anne - The flowers are beautiful but unnecessary

His reply came almost immediately

Gilbert - Very much necessary, not nearly enough to say how sorry I am  
Anne - They were lovely, I loved all the colours  
Gilbert - They reminded me of you

She wasn't sure how to respond to that. Was he saying she was lovely? Colourful...that made more sense.

Anne - Thanks, have a good flight  
Gilbert - See you when I get back

On their fourth night away, after their second game, a defeat over the LA Kings, Gilbert scored a goal and assisted Bash to his third career Hattrick, Bash decided Gilbert had enough time in his thoughts, and Bash wanted some answers. He knocked on Gilbert's hotel room door with a six pack and a pizza. "I didn't know we had a date." Gilbert joked.

"You wish." Bash joked as he walked in and put the pizza down on the table, passing a beer to Gilbert. 

They talked about the game for a bit, while eating, when the pizza was gone and they had each had two beers, Bash decided it was time.   
"You going to tell me what happened with Anne?" Gilbert looked away for a moment and then answered.

"I don't kiss and tell."

"I don't need positions. What is going on? You are hooking up in her office? She's crying, you think you've raped her. You gotta know that isn't normal."

"It was a misunderstanding, and I freaked out."

"How long have you been sleeping with her?" Bash asked him, opening his third beer. 

"Just one time for actual sex, and the other time in her office."

"Why? Do you like her? Is it just sex?" Bash tried to dig deeper.

"I don't know."

"You don't know?You are a grown ass man, that made 4.5 million dollars last year, you don't know if you like her."

"I don't even really know her."

"Do you want to know her?" Gilbert shrugged at the question. "Take her on a date?"

Gilbert scoffed at the idea. "Right."

"Why is that funny?" Bash was truly perplexed. 

"Can you imagine Coop? He'd have a field day, busting my balls over it."

"Are you fucking kidding me? You really are a moke. You won't go on a date with her, someone you have been intimate with, you had your face between her goddamned legs, but you won't go on a date with her because of what a dumb shit like Cooper thinks?" Bash didn't care if he sounded crude, he was angry at Gilbert.

"Don't you think I should be dating someone like Britney?" Britney was a girl he dated a few times, she was an Instagram model...or influencer as she liked to be called, he had stopped dating her when she wanted him to be in one of her sponsored posts. He felt like she was trying to use his name, to improve her own career.

"No, because you weren't happy with Britney. Do you think it's time to start dating a different type of woman? One who doesn't need you or your career to get ahead." Bash could tell that Gilbert wanted stability, he was the kind of guy that wanted to get married and have kids.

"But don't you think I should be with someone hotter?"

"Define hot? Some basic chick who only cares about Instagram, or someone who skates up and practises with kids? Or someone who doesn't have a conceited bone in her body?"

"You mean Anne." Not a question but a statement.

"She's hot enough that you couldn't keep from going down on her in her office."

"I tried Bash, I can't stop thinking about her."

"She's vulnerable, you could break her heart." Bash warned him

"I know...I think she cuts. Self harms. She has scars and old cuts all over her thighs, I think that's why she said no initially, she didn't want me to see them. She made me keep the lights out and go under the blankets the other time, afterward there was a bit of blood on me, my stomach."

"Jesus Gilbert...that's why she cried, she told me she thought you were turned off by them. "

"I know Bash. She said she had body issues, she heard Caden a few times talking about her looks. The first time we did it, was right after dinner in New York, maybe she was cutting when I came to the door...? I told her not to tell anyone one." He hung his head in shame.

"Jesus..."

"I was stupid, and a coward. She needs help and I probably caused some of those cuts."

"She deserves, to know how you feel, and she ha a right to how you guys proceed.

"Do you think she would want that?"

"You have so much, GIlbert...a career that every Canadian kid dreams about, now don't you want a love like your parents had? You told me, your dad loved your mom til the last breath."

"What if..." Gilbert was afraid to say something he had never spoken out loud to anyone. Bash waited, refusing to speak, knowing Gilbert had to let it out. "What if I find that, and I lose her like my dad did?"

"That's a chance we all take when we allow ourselves to love. Let me tell you Brother, I am terrified something will happen to Mary or Delphine...but I hold them close and love them as much as I can, while I can." Bash finished his last beer and stood to leave. "Don't live your life for people like Caden Cooper, live your life for you." He left Gilbert alone then, with his thoughts.

They were in the visiting team's locker room, for the San Jose Sharks, Gilbert was in a good mood, he had scored twice, the team had won, they were flying to Vegas in a couple of hours for their next game. 

"When I get to Vegas, I'm going to some hot chick to bone." Caden announced, Gilbert rolled his eyes but said nothing. 

"It doesn't count if you have to pay." Anders ribbed Cooper. 

"The girls are begging for it. Just like Blythe's little red puppy. She's practically gagging for that dick."

"Don't talk about her like that." Gilbert warned.

"Are you serious? You actually defending your dog's honor? Pathetic."

"Shut up." Gilbert turned, his eyes flashing darkly. 

"Cut it our Cooper." Bash added. 

"She must be a good fuck, if Blythe here is so pussy whipped. Tell us Blythe does she have freckles on her tit..." He didn't finish because Gilbert's fist was smashing against his mouth.


	9. Chapter Nine

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The fallout from Gilbert's decision to punch Cooper.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is told entirely in Anne's POV, we'll get more from Gilbert in the next chapter. As always thanks for your support, I really appreciate it. As I stated in the comments we had euthanize one of our dogs this week, and it's been hard to think of anything but her. I hope this makes sense, and doesn't suck.

"That asshole got sent home and suspended by the team for the rest of the road games." Diana announced, looking up from her phone as Anne entered the kitchen the next morning. 

"Caden Cooper?" Anne guessed.

"Gilbert Blythe." Diana answered with a grimace. "Honestly Anne, I know you have a friendship or whatever this weird relationship is, but all the rumours are he's fighting his own teammates, the shit he pulled with you...he's bad news."

"He's alright. We can all be dicks sometimes." She didn't think he was an out and out asshole, she had seen glimpses of a nice guy in there. "I better get going, Pete is going to need me."

"Anne, be careful." Diana warned her, Anne knew she meant about Gilbert. 

She read a few articles about him on the way to work. They were vague, the official word from MLSE was that he was sent home for an incident in the locker room, officials were investigating and he would presumably join the team when they returned from their away games. Inside sources and leaks were saying there was a fight in the locker room and Gilbert had instigated it. Who had he fought? She ran through the roster and, he got along with everyone except Caden Cooper. Would he fight Caden? Why? He had stood up to confront Caden in New York, were they fighting over something Cooper had said about her? That seemed ridiculous to Anne. It must have been something else. She got a text from Pete on her short walk from the subway to the arena, he needed her in his office as soon as she got to work. 

Pete - We got a shitstorm coming our way. Need you in my office as soon as you arrive.

She didn't even go to her own office, she left her bag and coat with Pete's receptionist, Liz. He started talking as soon as she entered the office. "Anne, thank god you're here. Blythe kicked the crap out of Cooper last night after the game. Cooper has been checked out by a doctor and had xrays done, no injuries other than a fat lip and a black eye. He's travelling to Vegas and joining the team, Blythe flew back to Toronto last night, after being checked out by the doctors, and is due in here in a hour, his lawyer and manager are meeting him here, along with the players union rep. We'll get his statement and I need you to arrange a time for Cooper's statement, we'll do a teleconference for his. We can get statements from the witnesses they name and then when the team gets back we can talk to them all one on one. We need to get the lawyers, and insurance guys in here too, and the league is going to want to send in their guys to investigate too. The team is all on west coast time so they won't be up for a few hours, but Coach is up and in contact when we need him."

She furiously wrote down all the details, forms to print off and the names of people he wanted her to call and email. She suggested ordering some food delivery too, since they wouldn't know how long the meetings would go on for. She tried to concentrate on doing her job and not allow herself to think about Gilbert, this could end his career. If Cooper pressed charges, that could limit Gilbert's travel and prevent him from playing. She thought about sending him a text to check in on him, even started to write it but decided against it, she didn't want to say something that could make things worse. She would shee how he was doing when he arrived for the meeting.

She didn't know what she was expecting when she saw him, dark and angry like that time in her office, defensive, argumentative, contrite, scared for his career, apologetic, any of those things, but that was not the Gilbert Blythe that showed up. He was relaxed, happy, and walked into the conference room with a confident swagger. He flashed her a million dollar smile as he entered. "Morning Anne." He greeted her, his lawyer and manager walking in with him.

"Hi.." She answered back, nodding at the other men. 

"Pete..." Gilbert began. Pete held up his hand. 

"Not yet. The union rep is on his way up." Pete stated. Anne knew it all had to be done by the book and very carefully, Pete did not want to lose Gilbert. Olek Jankowski arrived a few minutes later, a former hockey star himself, the players trusted him, and knew he would fight for them.

"Morning everyone, Blythe, I never thought I'd be in one of these meetings with you." He shook everyone's hands and sat on Gilbert's side of the table but leaving a space between himself and Gilbert's manager. 

"Look this isn't a trial, I'm not laying down any punishments. I just need to get Gilbert's side of the story, we'll talk to Cooper, and any witnesses both parties think may have information to share. I want this to be settled quickly and as painlessly as possible. I want Gilbert back on the ice ASAP." Pete began.

"We want that too." Gilbert's lawyer said. "Mr. Blythe is prepared to make a statement, but he asks that the room be cleared first, and that only myself, Mr. Jankowski, you, and whichever lawyer you want, be present." Pete wrinkled his eyebrows at the request, the four lawyers for MLSE immediately began discussing it among themselves, Anne studied Gilbert, seeing the confidence slip slightly. What the fuck had happened? She wondered.

"We agree." One of the MLSE lawyers answered. Everyone one else stood up, and began collecting their belongings. 

"You too, Miss Shirley." Gilbert's lawyer said to her. 

"Oh..but..." She looked at Gilbert, he stared forward and avoided her look."Alright." 

She left the room, out in the reception area the other lawyers were gathered in a group talking softly to each other, she walked up to them. "Why do you think they have requested that?" She asked.

"The less people that know, the less chance it can leak." One of them told her. 

"Makes sense, if you prefer we can head over to Pete's office and have some coffee and pastries." She offered, her mind racing a mile a minute as she led them to Pete's office. It made no sense to her, all the people that left the room, were Gilbert's manager, the lawyers for MLSE, and herself. Gilbert's manager wouldn't dare leak information that could hurt Gilbert's career, he would make millions off Gilbert through his lifetime. The lawyers had laws they had to follow and speaking about clients was a huge ethics violation. So that left her. What didn't they want her to hear?

Pete and the other men joined them about 45 minutes later, Pete's face looked angry, Jankowski's face had lost his cheerful grin, the two lawyers looked the same. Gilbert looked relaxed and confident, he smiled widely at her and walked over to her, where she was making a fresh cup of coffee, and grabbed an apple danish and took a bite, chewing and swallowing before he spoke. "It's going to be okay." He told her.

"What happened?" She asked him softly.

"I can't say anything until the other statements are collected." He told her.

"You're not hurt?" She looked at the hand holding the danish, it had blue and black bruises forming." He shrugged and took another bite.

"Nothing broken." He answered. "How are you?" He asked her, and she felt like it was deeper than a general inquiry, he studied her face, his eyes flicking all over. 

"Yeah...I'm good."

"Good, I'm really glad to hear that." He said and squeezed her forearm for emphasis, before taking another bite of his danish. 

"Anne, you got that conference call with Cooper set up?" Pete asked coming over to them, he began to fix himself a coffee.

"Yes, he's standing by in his hotel room, we will also connect with his manager and lawyer as well."

"Good job, kid." Pete said, he shared a look with Gilbert and then wandered over to the lawyers, after a few moments Pete called for her to get Cooper on the line.

"See you." She said. Gilbert stopped her before she left, holding her arm for a moment.

"Caden Cooper is an asshole and got what he deserved. Remember that." Then he let her go and walked over to his own lawyer.

"I was just making a joke. He went crazy. He's a total psycho." Cooper said over the phone.

"What was the nature of the joke?" One of the MLSE lawyers asked. 

"Just locker room talk. Nothing I haven't said before, nothing none of those guys hasn't said themselves at some point." Cooper argued his point.

"I'm afraid you are going to have to answer Coop." Pete insisted.

"I made a joke about his girlfriend being ugly." Cooper answered. Girlfriend? Gilbert had a girlfriend? Anne felt her stomach drop at that news. Did he have a girlfriend when they had hooked up?

"Was there anyone there to witness the exchange, Coop?" Olek Jankowski asked.

"Bash was there, Joe, maybe Kyle and Riley."

"Thank you Caden, we'll be in touch." Pete said, indicating to Anne to disconnect the call. "Gilbert said Bash, Kyle and Joe were there. Anne can you get Bash for us."

Gilbert was waiting for her outside of Pete's office, he saw her and jumped to his feet, "Can we talk?" He asked her after they left the office, Anne pulled her coat on and continued to walk. 

"Not right now." She answered, she hated the sad, kind look in his eyes. He pitied her, she hated to feel that more than anything. She could not take his pity, not after everything she heard.

"Red puppy"   
"Gagging for that dick"  
"Freckles everywhere like small pox"  
"Throw that dog a pity fuck"  
"Freckled face freak"  
"Polka dotted Pig"

Hurtful words from decades long gone joined the horrible words she had heard the witnesses to Gilbert's attack on Cooper say, all the men in the room had avoided her gaze, finding their papers far more interesting. She had wanted to run away, to forget that they knew those words were said about her. This is why Gilbert had wanted her to leave the room, he didn't want to have to admit to fucking an ugly, horrific freak. She felt the tears prickling at her eyelids and she refused to let them fall.

"Anne, please." Gilbert implored her.

"I can't. I can't be here any longer. I just want to go home to a bottle of wine and forget today happened." She continued to walk, he stayed in step beside her. 

"Let me drive you at least. I have my car here today. You don't have to take the subway." She considered it, she would be home much faster, but she would have to be alone with him.

"No thank you." She answered, outside of the arena, it was a short walk to Union Station, where she could get on the subway. Gilbert was still following her, when she swiped her card to gain access to the subway, he reached into his wallet and pulled out a $10 bill and stuffed that into the Subway collector's cash fare box, and he followed her down the stairs to the train platform. People were already recognizing him, saying hello and snapping pictures as they walked. 

"Anne, please, let me drive you. I'm worried about you."

"You don't need to worry about me. You should be more worried about video of us hitting 6ixBuzz, a popular Toronto based Instagram account that had a huge following. 

"I don't care. I'm scared for you."

"Why?" She scoffed, looking down the tunnel for the lights of the train. He stepped closer to her and softly said.

"I know about the cutting."

She felt her stomach twist, her face flush hot, tears threatened to spill from her eyes. He knew, he knew she cut herself. She thought she would throw up, the train thundered in behind her. "I don't need you to worry about me. I am just fine. And while we are on the topic, I don't need you defending my honour. Just leave me alone." She turned and stepped on to the train, praying he wouldn't follow her. Wanting to cry in despair when he didn't. 

Diana was waiting for her when she got home, a bottle of wine opened, she held Anne in her arms and stroked her hair and back, when Anne sobbed. She wouldn't let Anne, go to the bathroom alone or sleep alone, making her call her therapist Dr. Clifford, who listened patiently and talked Anne through the worst part, the need to cut part. She finally fell into an exhausted sleep, on the couch, with her head in Diana's lap. 

Her life blew up the next morning, news that Caden Cooper had been fired was all over the TV, radio and internet. No details were being reported except that, he was fired, his contract wasn't even bought out because he had violated the Code of Conduct at MLSE. That probably would have been ok, there would be gossip and speculation, except 6ixBuzz did indeed have video of Gilbert Blythe and a mystery redhead, who told Gilbert she didn't need him defending her honour, people put two and two together and determined Gilbert had beat up Caden Cooper over something Cooper had done to the redhead. The comments were not kind. 

"I spend two hours getting ready in the morning, and I just needed to be a soulless ginger to get him?" One person commented. 

"She must be blind, as well as ugly to turn down Gilbert Blythe. I would let him destroy my vagina." Another one said. 

She wanted to quit her job, hide away forever, never have to go back to the arena and face every single person there, and how many on the subway, who would know what had happened. Her roommates wouldn't allow that to happen. "You survived worse than this." Josie told her, she had stayed up, after her night shift, so she could be there to support Anne. "The stories you told us about growing up in those foster homes and group homes. Anne, you are so strong, you are my role model."

"That piece of shit got fired, you don't have to see him anymore." Diana offered. "Everyone else is nice to you." That was true...but would they blame her for losing one of their best players? The Toronto Hockey fans were passionate, and not always rational, they could easily run her out of town. 

"I think it's so romantic that Gilbert, defended you like that." Ruby added with a dreamy smile. 

"Alright, you all convinced me...except you Ruby, it wasn't romantic at all, I'll go to work. But I am going to need a suit of armor to get through today." Anne announced.


	10. Chapter Ten

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Anne makes up her mind.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Some pretty Canadian words in here, I'll give meanings at the bottom. Thanks for all the love and support.

Her suit of armor was just one of her favourite outfits, that she felt safe and comfortable in, a pair of black skinny jeans, and a red Valentino sweater that Diana bought her for the previous Christmas, black boots, and her hair down in thick waves. She didn't wear it down often, preferring buns, braids and pony tails, but if they wanted to think she was ashamed of her hair she would show them what she thought of it. Anne had hated her red hair growing up, she had dyed it as soon as she was old enough, had dark brown hair for a long time, before she did a genetic DNA test, she did it hoping to find a relative that might have family information., so far she had only a few 6th cousins match up and they knew nothing. However, the scientists had been able to tell her that she got her red hair from her mother, Anne cut her brown hair off that day and let her red hair grow out again. She finally had a connection to her mother, and she loved it. It was long and thick and often got in her way, hence the braids, but she wore it proudly today, like a glorious crown.

She went to her office, checked her messages and emails and then headed to Pete's office, Liz greeted her with a smile. "Good Morning Anne, Pete is already in there."

"Thanks Liz."

Pete was on the phone when she entered, she went to his file cabinets and put away some papers, while she waited for him to finish up. "How are you doing Anne?" He asked her.

"I'm fine." She told him, trying to feel that way too. He was looking at her, he looked sad, but in a comforting, understanding way. 

"You could have come to me." He said. "We take the code of conduct very seriously. Everyone should feel safe and respected." She shrugged, not sure how to respond. How did she tell him she had years of getting used to cruel words. "Just so you know, there's no rules about you dating a player." He told her.

"We aren't dating." She felt herself blushing, how much did Pete know?

"Yeah...well, just letting you know." He was back to checking his phone, and she let herself imagine, for a just a moment, she was dating Gilbert. The comments from the fans came flooding back to her, even if he wanted to, which he didn't, she couldn't deal with that kind of vitriol. No, there was no way she would ever date Gilbert Blythe.

Gilbert arrived at the arena a couple of hours after Anne, he wasn't officially back from his suspension, but he wanted to follow up with Pete and check in on Anne. He checked her office first and found it empty, then continued on to Pete's office. "Morning Lizzy!" He greeted her. 

"There you are, I am very proud of you Gilbert. Standing up for Anne, she is just wonderful and doesn't deserve mistreatment." Liz smiled at him adoringly, and Gilbert felt a spark of shame, he hadn't stood up soon enough. He had allowed Caden do say horrible things for too long...and he had hurt Anne with his own treatment.

"She is wonderful. Are they in there?" He asked.

"Yes, go on in." Liz told him. He opened the door and was dumbstruck. Anne was at one of the windows, pouring some water into the plants that lined the windowsill, the golden sunlight was streaming through her hair, and he had never seen anything so beautiful. Her hair was down, and he realized that it was the first time he had seen it that way, hanging in long, thick waves around her shoulders, a golden and red blazing halo of fire surrounding her, he clenched his fists to keep from reaching for her. She turned to see who came in and saw him there, nodded a greeting and then turned her back to him. He wasn't sure if he was happy or saddened by that, literally the cold shoulder but now he could see her ass, snug in her jeans, those strong thighs encased in the black denim.

"Enjoying the view, Blythe?" Pete interrupted his fantasies of Anne, naked in the sunlight. 

"Yeah, love seeing the tower, from this angle." Gilbert lied, the CN Tower was visible from Pete's window, but that wasn't the view Gilbert had been studying and the look on Pete's face indicated he knew it as well.

"Good news. The league has cleared you for a return to play when the team gets back."

"That is good news."

"But no more fighting off the ice, and against your own team." Pete warned. "Even if your heart is in the right place."

"Don't worry, I won't." He kept looking at Anne, who had finished watering the plants and was on the couch, using her laptop. 

"Sorry to interrupt, but this next home game is the one we have invited the organ donation kids to attend, there will be about 350 people, including staff." Anne told them.

"Sounds great, we'll get the team to greet them in the stands just before warm up." Pete decided.

"The guys would love that." Gilbert agreed. 

"I'll let the Principal know, we can keep it from the kids so they can be surprised." Anne wrote down some notes in her phone.

"Let's comp everyone a drink, a hot dog and french fries and a popcorn." Pete said.

"That's sounds amazing, I know one of the teachers at the school, and most of these kids can't afford to buy concession food." Anne seemed so happy to be helping the kids, but he couldn't help the white hot jealousy that flashed inside of him, Jerry, that was the tall french guy she knew. Gilbert wondered how accurately he could "accidentally" shoot the puck over the glass and hit Jerry in the face.

"Great, now we just need you boys to win for them." Pete said to Gilbert, who nodded.

"We will."

"I'm going out for lunch and probably won't be back today, finish up what you have to do Anne and take the rest of the day." Pete told her. "See you Saturday Gilbert." 

And then he left them alone, Gilbert half suspected Pete had done it on purpose. "Can we talk? If you are busy, I can wait, til you are done. We can go for lunch or coffee, I live close by we could go there, or I could take you home." He asked her, he saw her shoulders stiffen, and felt his heart sink.

"There isn't really anything to say."

"I know I was a jerk. I should never have asked you to keep it a secret, but..."

"I can't Gilbert. Honestly, you are so handsome and you can be so kind and sweet and I think you punched Caden for me and that is...I don't even know what to say to that. And I thought we could be friends but this is hard for me and confusing and painful. And I am...not good with dealing with emotions like that." She was cleaning up Pete's desk, he could see her hands were trembling.

"I don't want to hurt you. I don't want to be the reason you cut yourself." She stilled at his words, her whole body trembling now. "I want to be there for you."

She let out a pain filled laugh, "How? How can you help me? I've been to therapy for years, and I still do it. You can't white knight this. You can't slay a dragon and make my problems go away. If you want to help me...you need to stay away." Her voice was ragged with emotion, he felt awful for making her feel that way, he didn't want to never talk to her again, he didn't know what they were, or could be but he wanted to be around her, near her. He wouldn't be able to live with himself if he was the reason she was harming herself though.

"Okay. It's not what I want, but I don't want to hurt you. I'll leave you alone."

"Thank you." She said, a few tears escaping now.

"If you need anything, ever...let me know." She nodded and he rose from his seat. "See you around, Anne." He swallowed down his own tears, waved bye to Liz and headed home. 

When Saturday arrived, he and the team went out to the stands, they were partially suited up, no skates or pads yet, and met with the school kids. The kids were excited and crowded around the players, asking for autographs and selfies. A few even asked Gilbert to Facetime their families, "Could I have an autograph too?" A voice with a strong french accent asked, it was Jerry, he was holding his hockey ticket. "Not for me, but my husband." Husband? Anne's frenchman was married? It was no sense feeling relieved by this news, they were no longer talking. 

"Sure, Jerry right?" He asked. 

"Oui, can you make it out to Cole. He thinks you are really cute... er...good, at hockey." Jerry laughed at himself and Gilbert couldn't help but to smile.

"Sure. How's this "Cole, Thanks for the weekend, it was great."

"Oh my God, he would love that. You sure it's not too much?"

"Not at all." 

"Then by all means." Jerry laughed. 

"So you've known Anne for a while?" Gilbert asked while he signed the ticket.

"Yes since we were 13, we were in the same foster home." Jerry answered, pulling out his phone and taking a few selfies with Gilbert.

"Foster care? She never told me."

"Maybe I shouldn't have said anything then." Jerry frowned.

"I won't tell anyone, I promise."

"Thanks. I owe her a lot. She was my best friend for a few years, til she was sent to a group home for older kids. She introduced me to Cole, he was in her creative writing class. We've been together since, sadly, we lost touch with Anne, but I am so glad to find her here. We are going to have dinner with her soon."

"It's always nice to have old friends, people who know where you came from and what you experienced."

"Oui." They called the team back to finish getting ready for the game. Gilbert gave a final wave to Jerry and left. 

They won, by a lot, 6 -1, it was always a sweeter victory when they beat Ottawa. For too many seasons, Ottawa had knocked them out of the playoffs, so there was a vicious rivalry between the teams and the fans. Gilbert scored one goal and assisted in three other goals so he was happy with his play. The team was extra excited to have Gilbert back, and the fact that they had done well, without Caden, made them even more excited. 

"Want to go back to mine for a couple of beers?" Gilbert asked Bash. 

"Can't Mary and delphine are here."

"I forgot, next time."

"Yeah, but you should come up and say hi to Mary. She's been asking about you and Delphine is so big now. I know she would love to see Uncle Gilbie."

"Never say that name again." Gilbert warned Bash but felt his heart warm at the name. He loved little Dellie, he suspected she might be a better forward than her father, one day.

Gilbert walked into the owner's box and saw Delphine toddling around, she was so big now, when she saw him, she giggled and held out her arms. He ran over to her, scooped her up and held her in the air, talking and laughing with her. "Hello my beautiful girl. I have missed you." She put her chubby hands on each of his cheeks and kissed his nose.

"She just loves her Uncle Gilbie" Bash teased, Gilbert turned to frown at him, and saw he was standing with Anne. She looked adorable, she was wearing her old Doug Gilmour Leafs jersey, and a blue and white striped toque on her head, her hair in twin braids underneath. 

"And I love her. Hi Mary." He settled, Delphine on one hip and hugged Mary with his other arm. 

"Gilbert, you did well tonight."

"I had enough rest, I had to be better than everyone else." He joked, Delhine held out her arms for her mother and he passed her to Mary. He could see Anne was uncomfortable with him there. "I should get going, beers not going to drink itself."

"Night Gilbert, don't forget tomorrow." Mary reminded him. He had forgotten, it was a combination Bash and Delphine birthday party, since Bash was on the road so much.

"Two?" He asked, trying to remember the details.

"12, at Peter Pumpkin's" 

"Right...see you guys there. Night Brother." He hugged Bash and nodded at Anne, who nodded back. 

It was probably too many gifts for a one year old but, she was his niece, he had to spoil her, so Gilbert proudly carried the three presents in red, yellow and blue, wrapped boxes topped with sparkly bows, into Peter Pumpkins. It was a chain of restaurants, Nursery Rhyme themed, every half hour, animatronic characters, lead by Peter Pumpkin, would sing a song. There was an arcade, a indoor playground for kids, bouncy castles, and a smaller play area for babies and toddlers, where people dressed as nursery rhyme characters would play with the kids. Gilbert hoped he wouldn't get a headache from all the screaming children, as he approached Bash, Mary, Delphine and their guests. He put his presents with the others, and greeted everyone, his eyes landing on Anne, she was sitting beside Mary, her eyes on the glass of pop in front of her. He sighed to himself, this was going to be a long day.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> toque - a winter hat with a pom pom on top, a beanie
> 
> pop - soda, fizzy, carbonated drink, like Coke or Pepsi
> 
> The autograph thing may seem outrageous, but I promise you, I once asked Toronto Maple Leaf, drake Berehowsky for that exact autograph. And he did it!


	11. Chapter Eleven

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A long emotional day.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey everyone, thanks for being patient with me. I had most of this written for a while but I wasn't happy with one section and kept reworking it. Thanks for the comments, Kudos and hits. , I appreciate them all. 
> 
> **** Trigger warning this chapter talks about self harm and cutting. Please do not read if you think it could cause you emotional distress.

He ending up across and one seat over from her, anytime he had to talk to Mary, he could see her, she smiled a lot, at Mary, Bash and especially Delphine, but never for him. He noticed everything she did, how she refused the straw and drank from the glass, picked all the cheese and pepperoni off her pizza, ate that and then ate the sauce and crust, she dipped her fries in a mixture of ketchup, mayonnaise and gravy, he wanted to tease her about it, but figured she wouldn't appreciate it. Delphine laughed and clapped when the nursery rhyme characters began their animatronic singing, and pulled Gilbert up closer to the stage, he held her in his arms so she wouldn't get trampled by the other excited children, Delphine kept hitting his arm and shouting "Look" to him, in her baby voice. 

After the performance, he took her to the toddler bouncy castle, where she crawled and jumped with the other kids, when he got back, Mary was in his seat talking to one of her friends, so Gilbert put Delphine back in her highchair, decorated with colourful balloons, and took Mary's former seat, next to Anne, across from Bash, her smell surrounded him, filling his nose, soft and sweet, he wanted to bury is nose in her neck and breathe her in. He talked to Bash, but tried to glance at Anne several times to make her feel like she was invited to join the conversation if she chose, she didn't. Bash saw that she was, uncomfortable announced they should open presents, prompting Mary to come back to her seat, so she could help Dellie open up her gifts, and Gilbert went back to his seat. Delphine was still too young to understand gifts, she liked the bows and ripping the paper but she didn't care too much about the actual presents, she did seem to love one of Gilbert's, a big red fire truck that lit up and played sirens.

"Well Uncle Gilbie never wants Mummy and Daddy to sleep again." Bash said in a sing song voice, frowning at the small xylophone, Gilbert also got Delphine.

"Hey I read kids learn best with interactive toys." Gilbert laughed, they were unaware that the third toy Gilbert brought, one that taught kids about animals, made about 30 different animal sounds, that would be a fun surprise for them. When the presents were done, Anne took Delphine to play some more, Gilbert visited with Bash and Mary for a bit before deciding it was time to go, so that Anne could have some time to relax without him there. 

"Unc Gilbi! Unc Gilbi!" He heard Delphine crying out his name. She was holding Anne's hand, they were walking back to join the others at the table. He scooped her up and kissed her cheek. 

"Uncle Gilbert has to leave now."

"NOOOOO!" She shouted, wrapping her arms around his neck. Anne stood awkwardly watching.

"I'll come see you soon..." He tried again, only to hear more nos shouted into his ear. 

"Probably overstimulated." Anne offered quietly, he nodded. 

"Okay Dellie, I will do one more thing with you. Then I have to leave." He put her on the ground and took her hand, waiting for her to chose something. She took Anne's hand as well and led them to the bouncy castle, and crawled inside, adults weren't allowed so they stood outside an waited. After a while he said to her. "You don't have to wait, I can take her back to Mary." She just shrugged and stayed facing forward.

"It's fine, when she's done, you can leave and I can take her back." Anne said. He could smell her again, why was the smell of vanilla so incredible when it was on her? They said nothing for a long time and finally he couldn't take it anymore.

"Look, I know you don't want to be friends with me, and you don't want to be...whatever it is we were, and I am trying to respect that, but I can't stop thinking about you, all of the time." He turned to her, she sighed and turned to face him, staring into his eyes with her fathomless blue grey eyes.

"It was intense, and amazing. I think about it too..." She admitted. He felt his heart soar a bit, was there a chance? "But I am really fucked up, and I think if I even allowed myself to hope that we could have something, it would break me when you realize you're too good for me, I don't want to be that broken."

"Too good?" He questioned, but hadn't he struggled with the same thing, he had been ashamed of his attraction for her.

"And the fans. I couldn't deal with that."

"If I could prove to you that I could be the guy you not only wanted, but needed. If I could make you believe that we could be something...a couple...would you give us a shot?" He asked, he needed to know if there was any chance for them.

"The fans..."

"Fuck them. I need an answer. Could you let us try, if I can show you?" He asked, he searched her eyes for a glimmer of hope. She nodded but said nothing, and he pulled her into his arms for a hug, and kissed her hair tenderly.

"I'll show you. Just you wait and see." 

Someone filmed that moment, and put it on 6ixBuzz. He was at home, later that evening, binge watching Call the Midwife on Netflix when his phone started going off, text messages, DMs, and Bash was calling him. He didn't wait for Gilbert to start talking. "Shit Brother, there's a video of you and Anne, from earlier at Peter Pumpkin's."

"Shit." He remembered the hug, the kiss and the long, lingering looks. "On Twitter?"

"Worse, 6ixBuzz"

"Fuck me." He put Bash on speaker and opened up Instagram, searching for 6ixBuzz and finding the video. There was no volume, thank God, but they looked so intense, the way he stared at her, and how she looked back, the sparks between them were practically visible. The camera zoomed in on them when he embraced her, and kissed her hair. The caption with it said, "Find yourself a shorty who look at you the way Blythe look at his girl." 

The comments were a mixed bag, most of them saying they were cute, or how sexy the moment was, despite it being PG. But of course there were the horrible ones. The fans were going to end his chance before he even took it. He began putting on his shoes and checked his Uber app, the last time he used it was to send Anne home, her address was still there. "I'm going to her place." He told Bash.

"I don't know if she'll like that."

"She'll fucking hate it, but what if she's cutting herself?"

"Okay, go but don't fuck this up."

"That's all I seem to do lately." Gilbert panicked. "Fuck."

"You'll be ok. Just check on her, make sure she is feeling safe, if she wants to talk let her know you can listen." Bash advised. He ordered the Uber, grabbed a coat, his keys, wallet and phone and left his place. 

He arrived at her place twenty minutes later, kicking himself for just showing up, he should have called or texted first. He knocked on the door, no one answered, so he knocked harder. Still no one answered, maybe she wasn't home, he turned and stood at the top of the stairs, on the porch, looking down the street toward Danforth, should he just go hang out there for a bit and come back? He was just about to walk down the stairs when he heard the door behind him open, Anne was in the doorway, eyes red, face pale. "You've seen the video." He stated simply. 

"The video hasn't upset me." She responded. "I told you I couldn't deal with the comments."

"And I said fuck them. Don't read that stuff."

"It's so hard not too." She admitted.

"I know." He sighed. "May I come in?"

"It's not a good idea, Gilbert."

"Are you alone? I'll leave if you have a friend in there with you. I just don't like the idea of you alone, dealing with this."

"Fine...come in" She opened the door wide enough for him to enter. The foyer opened to a living room on one side and a dining room on the other, it was very feminine and modern. 

"Do you want a drink?" She asked him, grabbing a glass of red wine that was standing on a table near the front door. 

"Beer?" He asked her, following her into the kitchen where she took one out of the fridge, handing it to him. He stared at her for a moment, wanting to say something meaningful. but had nothing, so her took a swallow of his beer instead. He tried not to be obvious as he studied her, she was wearing white fuzzy slippers, blue plaid pajama bottoms and a light blue t shirt, with Snoopy on it, her hair was in a messy bun on the top of her head. She looked adorable, and sad, he wanted to hug her and take away her sadness. How could he make her understand that she should ignore those comments? 

He looked again at her, noticing a dark spot on her shirt, maybe she spilled some wine, but as he looked the spot grew bigger. She was bleeding, she had been cutting when he knocked on the door. "Anne, where are your roommates?" He asked, feeling his anger begin to bubble. She was hurting herself because of his fans, people that admired him, and liked him, were attacking her, she needed her friends. He couldn't leave her like this.

"Two of them are working night shifts, Diana should be home soon, she went to an engagement dinner for a coworker."

"What about Jerry?" He didn't know who else she should talk to.

"I have no idea, at home I guess. Why?"

"You're bleeding." He gestured to her shirt. She looked down and saw the blood.

"Shit..." She looked at him, panic in her eyes. "You should go."

"I'm not going to do that. You shouldn't be alone."

"I don't need you to supervise me." She was getting angry at him, he knew it was because he saw her bleeding, and knew what caused it, she was getting defensive. 

"You need to stop doing this." He said.

"Yeah, no problem. I won't do it again." She responded sarcastically. "Will you leave now."

"I'm serious Anne, this could be dangerous. I've been reading..."

"I am not some homework assignment you need to research. Can you get the fuck out?" She slammed the wine glass down on the counter. 

"Not until Diana, gets back."

"Can you get a fucking clue? How many times do I have to tell you that I don't need you? I don't want to be around you. And part of the reason I do this is because of you." It was like a slap in the face for him, all his suspicions and fears confirmed by her cruel words.

"Then let me help you." He shouted back.

"You can't. Are you so stupid you don't comprehend that? You are't the hero in a fairy tale. You aren't Mr. Darcy, you're the villain."

"I'm the villain? I made one mistake, one stupid mistake I regret, asking you not to tell. I have done everything I could to apologize and show you I am sorry about it. I nearly lost my entire career because I wouldn't let Cooper say horrible things about you."

"I never asked you for that. This back and forth, up and down is killing me. You can't understand the pain I am feeling. You have the perfect life, hockey star, handsome, funny, smart, you have everything, Golden Boy. I have nothing, except for the smallest ounce of dignity that I am desperately trying to hold on to, but you won't stop until you have that too." She fled the room then, he heard her feet pounding on the stairs and a door slam. She was locked in a room and he knew she would be cutting herself.

"Fuck that!" He growled to the empty room, put his beer down and left to go find her. All the rooms on the second floor had their doors shut, except for the washroom, she wasn't in there. Since no one else was home, he tried every other door, the third one was locked from the inside. "Anne, open up."

"Get the fuck out before I call the cops." She warned. 

"Great, do that, then I will tell them about your cuts and you can go to psych ward for a three day hold." He countered. "Let me in, or I will kick it in." That sounded very much like something a fairy tale villain would say, he thought to himself. She didn't answer and he stepped back lifted his leg and kicked the door, like in the movies, it didn't open but he heard the wood crack, he did it again and the door popped open, swinging inward. She had her back to him, he could see her shoulders shaking from crying, he walked to her, standing in front of her, she had a razor blade in her hand, the bottom of her shirt had at least ten more blood stains on it.

"Leave me alone." She begged him, her voice sounding so small and broken.

"I can't" He grabbed her hand, and took the razor blade away from her, grabbing a tissue, wrapping it around the blade and putting it in his coat pocket.

"You really are so fucking stupid, you think that's going to stop me? I have more, I can buy more." She was laughing and crying, struggling against the hold he had on her arm.

"Not tonight. You've done enough tonight." He said gently, hoping to just get her to stop for the moment. "Do you...how do you, keep them clean?"

The fight was gone out of her now. "It stops bleeding after a bit." She laid on her bed, pulled her shirt up a bit and looked at the cuts. "It didn't help. I hurt so deep inside, the cuts can't take this pain away." She had more than a dozen, most of them very shallow and already the bleeding was stopping, a few were a bit deeper, she had hundreds of marks on her, scars, scabs. How much pain she must be in if every mark was a desperate attempt to relieve the pain. He went to the bathroom and got a washcloth and wet it with warm water, returned to her and held it out, she just stared at her stomach, so he gently began to wash away the blood. She just laid there, watching him, he didn't like the look on her face, he didn't know what she was feeling, but he was worried she might try to take her own life. He saw her phone on the table by the bed and saw it was unlocked, found her contact list and found Diana's name, called her.

"Anne, Hi!"

"It's Gilbert Blythe."

"What are you doing on Anne's phone? Is everything alright?"

"No. You need to come home now. She's in a bad way."

"She cuts, don't let her cut herself."

"I know, I'm trying to stop her."

"I'll be home in less than thirty minutes."

"She doesn't like you. You should leave before she gets here." Anne finally spoke.

"I'll take my chances. Do you want me to get you a clean shirt?" He saw she had stopped bleeding. She nodded and he went to a chest of drawers, pulled one open and saw bras and panties, ignored the thrill at seeing them, opened the next one, pulled out the first one and handed it to her, turning his back to give her some privacy. He heard her clothes rustling and when it became silent, he turned back around. "Can I just sit beside you on the bed? I could rub your back or your hair." He offered. She nodded and when he sat, with his back against the headboard, she laid her head on his shoulder, he wrapped his arms around her and traced small circles on her back. He felt her breathing slow down and her body relax, she had fallen asleep, he continued to hold her, it might be his last chance and he wasn't wasting it.


	12. Chapter Twelve

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Diana finally meets Gilbert. Gilbert is trying to win them both over.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Comments, kudos and hits are so appreciated! You guys make me laugh and smile so much with your comments.

He must have dozed off too, because he was woken up, by someone shaking his arm. A beautiful brunette, wearing a very angry look on her faces, was standing over him. She gestured with her thumb for him to leave the room. He gently removed his arms from Anne, slid out from beside her, pulled the blanket up over her shoulders and followed the woman, who must be Diana out of the room. "What the fuck happened to the door?" She whispered to him, on the way down the stairs.

"She wouldn't open it, and I was worried. I'll pay for the repairs."

"Don't worry about it. Did she cut?" Diana, asked as they entered the living room. 

"Yeah, about a dozen. They all stopped bleeding." He told her, pacing the room, while Diana, stood and watched.

"She let you see them?" Diana asked with a frown, at his nod she added. "I've never seen them."

"It's bad, there are so many scars."

"What happened, what triggered her. Did you do something to her?" Diana asked him. 

"No. Someone recorded us, hugging, and put it on 6ixbuzz, some comments were horrible."

"For fucks sake. You really have turned her life into a shitshow." Diana raised her voice, he tried to defend himself but she just continued. "Sure you may not have done it intentionally, but you caused it nonetheless. How fucking dare you have sex with her and then ask her to keep it a secret. Do you know how many times she has had a boyfriend? One that would proudly show her off on his arm? Zero. Every guy has used her as a side piece or a booty call, and then this gorgeous, handsome hockey god shows up and gives her the best sex of her life, and he wants to keep it a secret. I'm sure you can fuck all kinds of women, and they are all wonderful conquests for you but did you have to pursue her? You must have known and seen that she was vulnerable. God, after everything she's gone through, every horrible dark and twisted thing that happened to her, she is still so kind and trusting, she somehow climbs out of that dark place, again and again. And along comes Gilbert Blythe, to knock her down like a runaway train. Why didn't you just leave her alone?"

"I tried not to. I'm trying still. I can't." He admitted, she wasn't wrong, most of this was happening because he had to have her.

"Well too bad. You think that makes it ok? Grow up and control your urges like the rest of us do. Leave her alone and let her try and put her life back together."

"I can't do that. She told me she would give me a chance, to prove that we could be together."

"Wonderful" She exclaimed angrily, "You going to send more flowers and think that will fix everything?" 

"I don't know yet. I have to try. There is something there between us. More than just the best sex I have ever had too." He admitted. 

"If you hurt her again, I will shove your own hockey stick, so far up your ass, you'll taste wood." She threatened him.

"I don't doubt it. You should go check on her. I took away her razor, she says she has more." He wasn't angry at Diana for tearing him a new asshole, he deserved it and more but he was really worried about Anne.

"I will as soon as you leave. You better get your shit together because if I even think you made her cry or cut herself again, I will destroy you." She warned him and he didn't doubt it. He left his number and asked her to text him, how Anne was doing, she narrowed her eyes at him, "If I ever get a dick pic from you, I will tear your dick off."

"I think you're starting to warm up to me." He said with a sad grin just before she slammed the door in his face.

He got texts from both Anne and Diana the next morning. 

Anne - Sorry about last night. I was a wreck.  
Gilbert - Nothing to apologize for, I'm there for you if you ever need  
Anne - I said some awful things  
Gilbert - I deserved them  
Anne - you did  
Anne - Thanks for breakfast, you didn't have to  
Gilbert - I know, but you and Diana had a rough night, I wanted to be sure you didn't have to cook this morning.   
Anne - have a good day  
Gilbert - You too.

Diana Barry - Next time you try to buy my approval with food, send Cinnamon rolls. Warm and gooey. From Cinnabon  
Gilbert Blythe - Will do. How's Anne?  
Diana Barry - Emergency meeting with her therapist  
Gilbert Blythe - Good to hear

Gilbert finished getting dressed, after the morning skate, and his shower, he was eager to get on with his plans to prove to Anne he was worth a chance. He walked through the hallways on the arena, finding the door he was looking for, he knocked and heard a soft voice call out "Come in." He opened the door and saw Dr. Jody behind her desk, papers in a tidy stack in front of her. Dr. Jody was the team psychologist, she kept an office in the arena, and usually travelled with the team. Gilbert, please have a seat. I haven't seen you in my office before." She had such a soft, soothing voice, and he wondered if she always had it or something they taught the psychologists in school. 

"I haven't needed to talk to you before. Or maybe I have and I didn't know it."

"Or refused to acknowledge it." She added. "So, tell me why you think you need to talk me today."

He left her office feeling lighter than he had in months...years. He thought all his issues had to do with his own ego, and his own cowardice to stand up for Anne in the beginning. But somehow he was talking about his dad being sick, about growing up without a mom, knowing he was supposed to have three older siblings, who were just names and some pictures to him. He also had an appointment to see Dr Jody again, the following week. He had decided that he had to get his own mind healthy if he was going to be the man she needed.

He thought up a million elaborate schemes, ideas to not only make Anne believe they could be a couple but to fall ridiculously in love with him, but he didn't put any into action because he ultimately realized that sending her a diamond necklace, a shopping spree, a spa day, or a vacation for her and her girls seemed to be a desperate attempt at buying her affection. Anne deserved so much more, she deserved to be wooed, he just didn't know how to accomplish that. So he started by going going small instead of over the top. 

He decided to meet her at the exit to Union Station each morning he was in Toronto, the first morning she seemed surprised to see him. "Good morning." He beamed at her.

"What are you doing here?" She asked him suspiciously.

"Walking you to work." He said as he fell into step beside her.

"Why?"

"I want to. I want to see how you are doing, what you watched on TV last night, had for dinner."

"I'm fine, nothing, I read, and Pad Thai that Josie made." She swiped her pass at the door to gain entrance to the arena, he followed her in, swiping his pass too.

"What did you read?" 

"MIchelle Obama's book."

"I've heard that's pretty good. I can't get into biographies." They passed a team of security guards, and greeted them both with a "morning" and continued on. 

"I don't read them often, but Diana recommended it, she loves biographies." They chatted about the latest YA book everyone was reading and whether it would make a good movie or not, when they reached her office, he wished her a good day and left. 

He was waiting for her outside her office when she was leaving for the day. "Don't you have places to be?" She was zipping up her coat. 

"I am where I need to be. What are your plans tonight?" He asked.

"Ruby is done overnight shifts for a while, so we are going to go out to dinner and a movie."

"Sounds fun, what movie? Why does she do overnights?" 

"She's a nurse. We haven't decided, probably the latest rom-com. She's a romantic through and through." He could see Anders and Joe, standing by the exit door, having a chat, and he didn't care. He didn't care if they laughed or mocked him, or questioned why he would be with someone like Anne. In fact he was proud, proud to be walking beside her, proud to be a friend and hopefully more with her, he recalled Diana's words at Anne never having had someone who proudly showed her off.

"Hey Gil, hey Anne." Joe greeted them. "Blythe, we're going over to that new brewery, they have some new chef that was on Top Chef, want to join us? You too Anne."

"I have plans, thanks for asking." Anne's smile seemed genuine to Gilbert, which made him happier than he would have imagined.

"Yeah, I join you guys, just let me walk Anne to the subway and I'll be right back."

"Cool, Night Anne." Anders replied.

"See you." Joe added. Gilbert and Anne continued on their way. 

"You don't have to walk me."

"I know. I want to. Have a good time, see you tomorrow." 

"Good night." He watched her enter the station, she paused to wave goodbye to him one more time and then headed down the stairs. He turned around and headed back to his friends. 

That night, after eating some delicious Korean Barbeque, and watching the latest romantic comedy, Anne was tucked into her bed, finishing a chapter in her book before she went to sleep. She got a text and saw that it was from Gilbert. 

Gilbert - Hope you had fun tonight.  
Anne - I did. What about you?  
Gilbert - Pretty good, they serve their food in paint trays  
Anne - What?  
Gilbert - Those rectangular trays for paint rollers.   
Anne - Sounds very hipster  
Gilbert - It was.   
Anne - I once left a restaurant that served their food in shoes  
Gilbert - WTF??  
Anne - that was my feeling lol  
Gilbert - I'm sending you a link

It was a link to YouTube, one of Jimmy Kimmel's Celebrity Mean Tweets, where celebrities read real, mean tweets about themselves, she had seen the videos before, but she watched it again, the tweets were mean, but she chuckled at the celebs reactions. 

Gilbert - Jennifer Aniston, ScarJo, Gwyneth Paltrow, all beautiful women, and all have cruel untrue things said about them.  
Anne - But they are beautiful, some jealous people tweeting isn't going to change that  
Gilbert - I would say the same about you.   
Anne - Good night Gilbert

The next morning when he greeted her by the Union Station exit, he handed her an envelope. "What's this?"

"Just something for you to look at later." He answered, walking beside her. They talked about their plans for the day, he had a morning practice and then the team was leaving for Florida for some away games. At the door to her office, he reached out and squeezed her arm. "May I call you while I am away?" 

"If you'd like." She answered, a light blush spreading on her cheeks.

"I would. I'll call you tonight after I get back to the hotel."

"Have a safe trip and good luck."

"Thanks." He watched her go in her office and then left to go to practice.

Anne shut the door to her office and felt herself smile, she wouldn't admit it to him or to anyone else but she enjoyed him walking with her, even if it only took a few minutes. She looked at the envelope in her hand, should she open it now or save it for later? She opened it, inside was a sheet of paper, there was a picture of her and Gilbert, presumably a screen shot from the video. And there were a dozen comments, about the video.

"I have never had anyone look at me the way he is looking at her."  
"She's looking at him like I look at donuts"  
"There is so much romance in his eyes."  
"The small smile on her face when he holds her. I'm dead!"  
"They are #couplegoals"  
"When he kisses her head. I'm a dude and I felt that in my heart"  
"She's so beautiful, I always have been attracted to gingers."  
"So all I have to do to score a hottie like that is be the best hockey player in the NHL?"  
"Never seen hot shit like this when I go to Peter Pump's"  
"How unfair is my life? She's got perfect hair, cute freckles and Gilbert Blythe?"  
"The ass on that chick is nice! I wouldn't mind making it clap." 

She smiled and stared at the picture, it was a sweet and tender moment, and it was lovely to see the positive comments, she hadn't noticed them at all before. She folded the paper up and put it in her purse, took out her phone. 

Anne - thank you  
Gilbert - You already looked?  
Anne - Yes. It was very sweet of you. I think one of those comments was from Ruby. lol  
Gilbert - Your roommate?  
Anne - Yes, she's been team Gilbert since the flower delivery  
Gilbert - At least I have one ally.  
Anne - How does one make an ass clap?  
Gilbert - I could skip practice and come up and show you.

She covered her mouth with her hand and giggled, the audacity. 

Anne - Get on the ice. Can't have the fans blaming me for your shitty playing.  
Gilbert - ;p


	13. Chapter Thirteen

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Anne and Gilbert spend more time together.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It's not all sunshine and ponies...yet! But the story will probably be done soon. I hope you are all enjoying it and I really appreciate your feedback and kudos. I can't believe how many comments I have! 
> 
> **** Trigger warning there is a brief description of a sexual assault. Please if you may experience trauma please do not read.

Everyday that Gilbert was away on the road, Anne would find an envelope waiting for her on her desk, always comments that were kind and complimentary toward her. She had become curious enough to rewatch the video a few times, she could see why some people thought it was erotic or intimate. They looked at each other like there was nobody else in the room, she remembered feeling so safe, secure and wanted when he held her, as begged her for a second chance. She even read the comments, the cruel ones still hurt, but she had been seeing Dr. Clifford more often, had talked again and again about why those comments hurt her so much, maybe she was desensitized to these ones because while she felt the twinge of hurt, she was able to continue on and focus on the positive ones. There a lot of them, more than she remembered and they did seem to vastly outnumber the negative ones. She didn't stop herself from liking the comments of those defending her to the nasty people. Maybe she could just ignore the bad stuff.

She had a rare midweek day off, the Leafs weren't playing, they were traveling back after their away games in Florida and Atlanta, since Josie didn't have to work until 8pm that night, the two women decided to get pedicures and have lunch. They were sitting side by side in the pedicure chairs, chatting to each other and the estheticians, when Josie suddenly stopped talking and motioned to the TV screen. On the TV, mounted on the wall for clients to watch, was the Toronto 24 hour news station, headlines on the bottom, a scroll of stock market information, traffic cams updating the latest road conditions and the reporters and videos in the top left. On the screen at the time was Gilbert, the live news crew had been waiting at the airport for the team to arrive and clear customs, then they were attempting to get the players to appear live on air. Gilbert apparently was happy to stop and chat. He looked incredible to Anne, his hair was messy, did he own a comb or a brush? He would say something and then look into the camera with a flirty grin before listening to the next question. 

"I wanted to ask you, as a woman in television, I receive a lot of comments, most of them are wonderful and our viewers are the best in the world, but I know that the whole city saw the video of you and your...friend, having a personal moment. Now I know it must be horrible to have an invasion of your privacy like that, but the comments from some people really created a dialogue. about sexism, bullying and the internet. Any comments?"

"Well Arda, I don't normally comment on my personal life, but I do want to say that I have really had my eyes opened to how women are treated not just on the internet but in the real world too. My...Anne is a wonderful person, she is kind and considerate and strong and powerful, and beautiful, but as you and anyone watching knows, being attacked about your appearance can be extremely devastating. I love my fans, but I can't support anyone who would attack a stranger on the internet like that. Please everyone, when you see these things, hear these things, speak up." 

Anne felt herself, begin to tremble, she didn't want to be a news story, she wanted things to change but she didn't want to be the catalyst. She pulled her hood up over her hair and put on her sunglasses, glad that her polish was nearly done and she could escape from this place, escape from the TV, and the station that would repeat his interview all day long every fifteen minutes. "Are you alright?" Josie asked, reaching over and taking Anne's hand, squeezing it. Anne just nodded, she didn't want to say anything, she didn't trust her voice. "We don't need to go to lunch. We'll go home and order something, or I could make you a grilled cheese." Josie had her phone out and was one handed typing, while holding Anne's hand, Anne assumed she was letting Diana and Ruby know what was going on. 

When they got home she sat on the couch, watching The Good Place on Netflix, and Josie made good on her promise of grilled cheese with some soup and sat with Anne while they ate. "Do I dare check the comments?" Anne asked her.

"How will it feel if you read something negative about yourself?" Josie asked her.

"It will hurt, but what more can they say? Surely there must be some supportive ones. What Gilbert said isn't wrong."

"No it wasn't. You are doing so good Anne, But I don't want you to spiral downward if it starts to get to you." Josie explained, just as Anne's phone began to ring. It was Gilbert.

"I'm sorry." He said before she could even answer. "I should have said 'no comment' but it's not right, I had to say something."

"I know..."

"Are you ok?" He sounded like he was afraid of what her answer would be.

"I had a bit of a breakdown, but I am feeling better. My friend Josie is here, she made me lunch and we are just relaxing."

"That sounds nice. Would you mind if I came by in a few hours for a visit?"

"Yeah...okay." 

"See you then." He ended the call. 

"He's coming over in a few hours." Anne told Josie. 

"Great, I'll get to meet him. I wonder if he has any single teammates." Josie joked. "Let's get you in something other than this." She pointed to the pajamas, Anne had changed into.

A pretty blonde answered the door when he knocked, Josie or Ruby, he assumed. "Hello, I'm Gilbert..."

"Oh yes Gilbert Blythe, come on in. I'm Ruby, one of Anne's roommates and friend." She told him, with a large smile. This was his one confirmed ally, he had to keep her on his side.

"The nurse. Anne has told me about you."

"Yes I'm a nurse." She said as she led him past the living room to the kitchen.

"Which hospital? I know a few of the doctors and nurses at St. Mike's."

"Princess Margaret." She told him.

"Great hospital. I always buy their fundraising tickets." It was a large lottery where the grand prizes were expensive mansions and cars. He bought 100 tickets every year and then donated them to a homeless shelter. The tickets had never netted them a house or a car, but they had won a TV one year, movie passes and a few small cash prizes. 

"Me too, I splurge on a ticket every year." They entered the kitchen and found Diana and another blonde, that had to be Josie, staring at their phones. 

"Perfect timing Blythe," Diana announced. "We're about to order some takeout."

"Are you inviting me to join you all for dinner?" He asked hopefully. 

"I mean...since you're paying, I guess you can eat." She informed him and he barked out a laugh. She was definitely warming up to him. 

"Sounds perfect. I did bring you something, Diana." He held out a bag with the Cinnabon logo on it. "Half dozen, fresh from the oven, extra cream cheese frosting. I believe 'warm and gooey' was the specific order."

Diana smiled widely. "Nice to see you can follow orders." She took the bag and peered inside. 

"You must be Josie." He held his hand out to the other woman. She shook his hand and smiled at him. 

"I liked what you said today. So did a lot of people. You were trending on twitter."

"So my agent tells me." He shrugged. He didn't do it for publicity. "Where's Anne?"

"Don't you know a proper lady waits upstairs, to make a grand entrance to her gentleman callers?" Diana informed him. He rather liked the sound of gentleman caller.

"She'll be down in a second. Pete called her about some email or something so she's dealing with that." Josie answered. 

"You sent the most beautiful bouquet of flowers Gilbert, even if they weren't roses. Did you chose them yourself?" Ruby asked, sitting at the counter next to him. 

"Not specifically, I asked the florist to send a bunch of her prettiest brightest flowers. I'm glad they were well received."

"Anne loved them, she put them in the window over there and they lasted more than a week." Ruby told him cheerfully. 

"I'm glad. Do you think I should send more?" He asked her. She knew Anne better than him, would Anne appreciate it? She had never had a real boyfriend, grew up in foster care, she probably didn't know what it was like to be spoiled.

"Absolutely." Diana interjected. "And often."

"Noted." 

"So lets order, I have to get ready soon."

"Are you going out?"

"Working. I'm a server at Copenhagen" She told him, it was a fancy, club in the Entertainment district.

"I've been there a few times."

"I don't do bottle service." She referred to the women who worked in the VIP areas and brought bottles to them, tried to upsell them to more expensive bottles.

"Neither do I. I don't usually sit in VIP."

"You like mingling with the common folk?" She teased. 

"Despite what the media will tell you, I am the common folk. Grew up on a farm in PEI, I cut wood, picked apples and helped my dad harvest potatoes."

"Diana is from PEI." Ruby announced excitedly.

"I'm from Avonlea." He turned to Diana. 

"Bright River."

"Practically neighbours." And he felt a new kinship with her. 

"Practically." She agreed. "Now, Josie says nothing spicy before work. That leaves out Indian, Thai, West Indian...."

"Why don't we get Chinese, we can order a bunch of different things and Josie can avoid the spicy stuff." Anne said as she entered the kitchen. He couldn't take his eyes off her, she was wearing blue jeans, a black t shirt and her hair was down, red waves of fire, cascading over her shoulders. "Hey." She greeted him.

He could barely find his tongue to speak. "Hi." They agreed on Chinese and were deciding what to order when he noticed it had become silent, and that Anne had stopped talking and was looking at him, he had been staring at her lips, remembering what it had been like to kiss them, wanting to do it again. They were all looking at him now, Diana with a knowing raised eyebrow, Josie with a smirk on her face, and Ruby with a huge beaming smile. 

"You get to choose a dish too." Anne prompted him. 

"Oh...he looked at the phone handed to him, and began to scroll through the options. He was about to tell them to get sesame chicken but "I really missed you Anne." popped out instead. This elicited chuckles from the other women but Anne blushed and looked down at her hands. "Oh my God. I'm sorry. I meant to say sesame chicken."

"I think it's so romantical. You missed her so much you can't stop looking at her." Ruby sighed.

"It's also kind of gross." Diana observed. "How are you paying Blythe?"

He enjoyed the evening more than he had expected, he thought Anne would be sad, sullen, depressed but she was cheerful, joked with her friends and smiled at him a lot. They all ate their fill of the food, Gilbert had seconds, then they all had the cinnamon rolls from Cinnabon.  
"We almost forgot the fortune cookies." Josie exclaimed, and everyone grabbed a cookie. 

Diana had the funniest one "Some people dream of fortunes, others dream of cookies."

Josie's was the most philosophical "Don’t tell me what you believe. Tell me what you think."

Ruby squealed at hers in delight " You have a secret admirer."

Anne's was close to home "When fear hurts you, conquer it, and defeat it"

Gilbert didn't want to read his, he blushed ridiculously hard when he read it, but they wouldn't leave him alone until he read it out loud. "You will marry your lover"

Anne's eyes widened in surprised and then dropped to study her fortune, he noticed all the other women looked between him and Anne, waiting for either of them to say anything, they didn't. 

"Well I should go get ready for work, Anne, why don't you take Gilbert to the living room, while Diana and Ruby put the leftovers away." Josie said to them.

"I don't mind helping." He offered to help clean up. 

"Nonsense, guests do not clean up, especially when they pay." Diana concluded. Anne stood and walked toward the living room with Gilbert on her heels. Just as they left he heard Ruby whisper, 

"When they get married one if us will have to include this in a speech." The other two giggled. He could practically feel the fortune burning a hole in his pocket, why had he kept it? He normally read it and then threw it on the table or in the trash, but he couldn't part with it. 

"Want to watch TV?" She asked, sitting in one of the corners of the couch. He sat in the middle, next to her but not touching her. 

"Not really, unless you want to." She left the TV off, and they didn't say anything for a little while, just sitting, he wanted to tell her how he was feeling, how he wanted her, but she hadn't given him any signs to say they could be more than friends. 

"Thank you for the printouts of the comments. They did help boost my self esteem a bit." She finally said. "And even though I don't want to be a call to arms or someone's rallying point, I do appreciate what you said about me today...on the live news."

"I didn't stand up for you before, and I regret that. I won't ever let that happen again." He promised. 

"I want to go all in with you, but I am terrified." She admitted, he felt his heart soar, this was it, she was telling him, how she felt and she wanted him. 

"I get that. I'm scared too. I've been thinking alot about it, about my past. I realized that I have never been in love. I only had a few long term girlfriends and I liked them and cared for them, but I didn't love them. I know I could love you...I'm halfway there already." He told her, reaching out to hold her hand, she let him. 

"I'm so messed up Gilbert."

"So am I. I have repressed for decades, not just my father dying when I was a teenager, but the feelings, anger, sadness and guilt that I lived, while my mother, two brothers and sister died, when I was still a newborn. Why did I get to live? My brothers never got a chance to play hockey, my sister never got to fall in love, have her first kiss. My Dad never got to see me get my first NHL goal, he won't read Whitman at my wedding, I am the last Blythe. All sorts of feelings are bubbling to the top now, and they aren't all pretty."

"I didn't know that...any of that...your family. I'm so sorry."

"Don't feel sorry for me Anne, you've been through hell, and you're still standing. Shit you're thriving, when most would be wallowing in a ditch somewhere."

"I've recently learned that a person's hardships are their own, and are are just as valid as the next persons. We both lost our families and had different experiences, mine isn't any worse than yours. "

"What happened to your parents?" He asked her. She shrugged.

"I don't know. My records don't say a lot, my mother died when I was less than a year old, I was taken to Child Services, and stayed with them until I turned 18." She told him.

"Your father?" He asked, she shook her head. 

"I don't know, there is no name listed under father on my birth certificate. Maybe he never knew about me."

"Was it bad? Foster care? You met Jerry there, he told me."

"It had bad moments. A lot of people take in kids for the money and not for loving reasons. There was a lot of beatings, emotional abuse...other stuff." He tried not to show his reaction when he realized she meant sexual. He wanted to ask her, he wanted to rip those people apart, he wanted to pretend he hadn't heard. "I met Jerry at a pretty gruesome house. They only let us shower once a week, they were quick to lash out, slapping faces, punching arms and backs. The father would touch us girls, on the backs, low down, almost our butts, he would hug us close, make us sit on his lap, fondle our breasts. I don't know how far he took it with the other girls but one day I was in the laundry room in the basement and he cornered me, he had his penis out and wanted me to suck it, I had just turned 14, I didn't even know what a blow job was, I had heard the term but didn't know the details. He grabbed my hair and forced me to my knees, Jerry saved me, he came in and saw what was happening and warned our foster father to never touch me again, or he would tell the social worker and the family would never get kids again.

"We thought that was the smart thing to do. When I turned 16 I was moved to a group home for older girls, preparing us to age out of the system and live on our own. Jerry had to stay with them for a while longer. When I left that home, I told the social workers about the abuse, I was too scared to do it sooner, although I wish I had, how many other girls got abused?

"I got a job at Dairy Queen from 15 until I left Halifax, saved my money, got a small bursary from Child Services, won a scholarship to U of T and moved here." 

"Jesus Anne..."

"Don't feel sorry for me."

"I don't...well I do for young Anne, but I am awed by you. You're amazing." She leaned her head on his shoulder and they sat like that for a long time, holding hands and talking about their pasts, well into the night, Diana and Ruby had gone to bed, Josie had left hours before. She walked him to the door and said good night with a soft kiss on his lips. 

The next morning all four women received flowers from Gilbert, soft pink tea roses for Ruby; a bright mixture of daisys, lilies and yellow roses for Josie; blue peonies for Diana, and another audacious mixtures of bright, cheerful flowers for Anne. One card for all of them said simply, 

"Ladies,  
I think my fortunes are looking up, thanks for dinner.  
G"

"If you don't marry him, I will." Josie announced smiling at her bouquet.


	14. Chapter Fourteen

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Anne and Gilbert get closer.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This was a super hard chapter to write. I don't know why, and it is super long! Nearly double what I normally write. Lots of Shirbert and smut...so enjoy!!
> 
> Thanks for all your feedback and support.

"So let me take you out for dinner." He asked her a few weeks later, they had continued their walks to and from the subway station, when he was in town and had been to her place for dinner a couple of more times. Sometimes they walked around her neighbourhood, avoiding the busy Danforth, and keeping to the side streets, big rambling houses, lined with huge trees, where they could talk quietly and without being jostled or shoved by the crowds. 

"Out?" They hadn't really been out in public...as a whatever they were. They hadn't had an official conversation or defined their relationship. As far as he was concerned he was still trying to win her over and he was staying exclusive to her. He sent her flowers two more times, and even personally delivered to her office a Bromeliad, a tropical plant that can thrive in fluorescent light. But he hadn't done anything extravagant to woo her and he was ready to take her out and show her off. 

"Yeah, we can go somewhere really fancy, or something casual. I've been meaning to check out the restaurant in the CN Tower. We could do that..." He offered. Bash told him that Mary had loved it up there, the restaurant revolved, so you got a great view of the city and lake. "Anders said that there is a great Italian Place in Yorkville. Or we could just walk along Queen St until we find something." He was just ready to be out and alone with her.

"Which would you prefer?" She seemed hesitant.

"I just want to hang out with you and spoil you a bit. I don't want to you to have to cook or wash dishes." He smiled at her blush, he hadn't pushed her because he knew that she wasn't used to a relationship. And therapy with Dr Jody had proven to be eye opening, he was realizing that he had a deep seated fear that everyone would die on him, he would have a wife and children and they would be cruelly stolen from him. Not unusual according to Dr. Jody, but that fear had led him down the path of casual sex, one night stands and girlfriends that were basically friends with benefits. This was new for him too and he couldn't fuck it up.

"I've never been on a date." she admitted. 

"Well how would you like it to be? Fancy or casual. I don't mind planning it all."

"I think I would be too nervous for a really formal place, with three forks and four different types of glasses on the table." She bit her lip and he thought she looked adorable.

"I never remember which fork to use." He agreed with a laugh. "Ok let me plan it all. I leave on Friday for the west coast , so let's do Thursday night, dressy casual, I'll wear a tie and you wear what you like."

"Sounds fun, let's do it. I'll get ready here so we don't have to go out too late." She agreed, quickly kissing his cheek and heading into the subway station. 

He met her at her office, he was wearing dark grey trousers, a light blue dress shirt, a blue and grey tie to match. He opted not to wearing a suit jacket, going with a dressier overcoat instead. He knocked on her office door and lost his breath when she opened it. She was wearing a black dress, a deep vee, revealed the swell of her breasts, the hem was just above her knees, she had on a pair of strappy black heels, the added height almost brought her to his own height, her hair was a swirl of red, hanging down her back and shoulders.

"You're wearing makeup." He noted. She had dark smokey make up on her eyes, the colour made the blue in her eyes seem even more vivid. Her lips were tinted a deep red that had him thinking about messing that lipstick up. He could see she had a full face of makeup on, but her freckles were not hidden, slightly muted, but still there where he could clearly see them. He remembered how he had initially thought she should cover them with makeup. What an idiot he had been.

"I went to Sephora and they did my makeup. Is it.."

"Beautiful. You look amazing, not that you don't without it...just different." He rambled.

"Thank you. You look quite dashing. You even combed your hair." She teased.

"I went to the barbers." He admitted, he was hopeless when it came to trying to control his hair. He often considered just shaving it all off but he had a weird shaped head. "Shall we?"

They were nearly to the exit when they heard some wolf whistles, a few of the players were walking behind them. "Damn Anne, you look hot." One of them said. 

"Thanks Martin." She blushed, Gilbert put his arm around her waist and pulled her close.

"Going on our first real date." He proudly announced. 

"Don't fuck it up." One of the other team forwards named Alexi, said. 

"Wish me luck then boys." He laughed and they said goodnight to the boys.

There was a car waiting for them, he decided to hire a private car for the night, so he wouldn't have to worry about parking or having a drink, and he could get her home safe that way. The first stop was to a restaurant, he hadn't gone for an upscale Yorkville restaurant, or even one in the downtown core, they went instead to quiet hidden gem, out in the Beaches. One that Joe had told him about, it had a fancy feel to it, candles everywhere, quiet intimate tables, the severs dressed impeccably, but it was pretty simple, comfort foods. None of those weird foams and mousses ., that they were doing everywhere. He couldn't stomach the idea of a salmon foam, she ordered a glass of red wine and he had a beer.

They made small talk while they looked at the menus, he could see she was nervous and wanted to put her at ease. He ordered shepherd's pie, she got roast chicken with a side of mac and cheese. "So much carbs." He teased about their meals, as he took another bite of their shared appetizer of artichoke dip.

"I'll have to run an extra hour tomorrow." She laughed.

"Well if you ever need a running partner..."

"Not afraid I'll beat you?"

"You running ahead of me is a view I think I would gladly accept." He flirted, even in the candle light he could see the blush on her cheeks.

They both passed on dessert, feeling too full for more food, they got back in the car that was waiting out front for them and headed to the next destination; it was a small, nondescript pub.

"You trying to get me drunk?" She asked.

"On a work night? Never." He joked. "I hope you like trivia." It was trivia pub night, the place was more crowded than it usually would be, but there were still a few tables open. 

"I love it. I wouldn't have pegged you for a trivia buff." 

"If I wasn't so good at hockey I would have gone to university. I will when hockey is finished for me."

"That's wonderful, what will you pursue?" 

"I don't know. I'll figure it when the time comes."

They named their team The Maritimers, since they were both from the East Coast, neither of them touched the drinks they ordered, instead they were laser focused on winning the game. They were a strong team, staying in the top three with just the two of them going up against teams with four or more members.

"I thought these would be harder." Gilbert commented as they easily got "How many daughters down Elizabeth II have?" right.

"They are pretty easy. The capital of Australia? That's pretty basic. "

"I'm not even mad about the ones we didn't get." Gilbert told her.

"Me either, I can happily continue life not knowing all the names of the Kardashians siblings." She laughed, "Although we did almost get them all between us."

"We forgot Rob." 

"At least they didn't ask us to name all their kids."

The Trivia master stood before them all again and began talking. "Thank you to everybody who came out to play, this has been one of the best nights, and one behalf of myself and and everyone here at the Frisky Friar, we want to congratulate the winning team, who are winning a $200 gift card to the Frisky Friar and their picture joins the Wall of Winners, so congratulations IT Terminators." The crowd cheered for the winners who all high fived and hugged. "We also want to give a special shoutout to The Maritimers, featuring Gilbert Blythe of the Toronto Maple Leafs, finishing in a respectable third place. Welcome Gilbert and his lovely friend, we hope you'll join us again and we all look forward to cheering you on in the playoffs." The pub erupted in a huge cheer, Gilbert was happy to stand and wave to them all, the patrons had left him and Anne alone for the night, and he appreciated it. They weren't able to escape without a few handshakes, posing for pictures with the staff and the Trivia Master. 

Back in the car he held her hand, "I had a really good time, I hope you did too." He said.

"It was pretty amazing. Not what I expected but somehow better than I pictured."

"That's good to hear. I was nervous, I didn't want to mess it all up."

"You didn't, it was wonderful. Thank you."

"Thank you for accepting, and for the second chance." He kissed her forehead. "I know I'm leaving tomorrow but if any pictures or videos of us show up online, please don't read the comments."

"Honestly I don't care what they say, I'm not letting them steal this perfect night from me..from us." She laid her head on his shoulder. 

He walked her to her door and kissed her goodnight. Pulling himself away from her lips proved to be a Herculean effort, he wanted to stay there and get lost in her. But she had work and he had a flight the next day. He could wait a while longer for her.

Gilbert - I'm back tomorrow, want to hang out after work?  
Anne - Sounds good. You won't be jet lagged?  
Gilbert - I'll probably fall asleep on your couch again but I want to see you.  
Anne - Why don't I come to your place. If you get tired, you are already home.  
Gilbert - You sure?  
Anne - Yes, I didn't get to really check you place out that time. I want to snoop.  
Gilbert - I'll be sure to hide the BDSM gear, and lock the dungeon  
Anne - You're no fun  
Gilbert - I'll show you how fun I can be ;p  
Anne - LOL See you tomorrow

He picked her up from her office, holding her hand they passed Pete, just leaving his office for the night. He looked at their joined hands and smiled. "Don't stay up too late Blythe, we gotta be good to make a push for playoffs."

"Don't worry Pete, I'll make sure he gets to bed early." Anne replied. Gilbert could only stare at her, did she mean it the way he hoped she meant it.

"That's what I'm worried about. Not too late either of you." He said with a grin, bid them goodbye and left. Gilbert wanted to ask her, but didn't want to scare her off, he would just let things play out how they would.

"I can cook us something, or we can order." He said as he unlocked the door to his condo and she stepped inside. He had tidied it up before meeting her, made sure there was no toothpaste in the sink, and the toilet was clean, his housekeeper had done a good job with the rest of the place, the day before he got back.

"I'm not super hungry right now." She told him, looking around the living room, checking out the pictures and artwork on the walls. "Your parents?" She asked, looking at a grainy photo of a man and a woman.

"Yeah."

"You have her smile. And I see where that unruly hair comes from."

"He's bald in every memory I have of him." He unconsciously ran his hand through his own hair. 

"Your siblings?" She asks staring at the three young children, sitting on a sofa, all of them wearing Maple Leaf jerseys. He nodded, walked over to her.

"That's Patrick, he was seven years older than me, Joey was three years older, Morgan was only two years older, her and Joey were born less than a year apart."

"How old were you, when they died?"

"Just a few months." He stared at them, he hadn't looked at the picture for a while, what would they be like if they were still here? Would they be friends? Best friends?

"That is indeed tragical." She stared at the picture a little while longer, and then moved on to the next one. A teenage Gilbert standing with an older couple. "Grandparents?"

"No, my old coach, and his sister, Matthew and Marilla. She tutored me when Dad was sick, and I was missing school, she helped me with him at the end. They took me in and took care of me until I went to live in Halifax for hockey. I still go spend a month with them during the summer, and they came up for Christmas this year."

"How wonderful. I hope you know how lucky and rare that is."

"I do. Without them I wouldn't be here, I wouldn't be playing hockey."

"I'm really glad you had someone to keep you safe and...happy?" She was asking how he had felt.

"They did their best to make me feel loved. And I did feel that. I was mostly happy, I missed my dad, and was going through a lot. But they did everything right." He hadn't really talked to anyone about how it had been with the Cuthberts, no one ever asked him. She smiled at the picture of Gilbert holding Delphine, and then moved on to a large painting taking up a wall, he bought it his first summer back in Avonlea, in a gallery in town, painted by a local artist, it was the red dunes and sands of Cavendish, with the blue ocean, reflecting the setting sun. It felt so much like home he had to have it. He had a couple of smaller paintings by the same artist in his bedroom.

"It's beautiful."

"It's home, the beach just a short walk from Green Gables."

"Green Gables?" She asked, looking away from the painting to him.

"The farmhouse where Matthew and Marilla grew up and still live. I guess I'll retire there one day."

"What a beautiful name. Houses with names are the most magical." She grinned, moved to the window that overlooked the dark lake and surrounding city. "This isn't half bad either." She commented, at the sparkling lights of the buildings and streets below.

"It's a lot nicer in the day."

"I'll have to take a look tomorrow." She told him, moving toward the hallway that led to the bedrooms. Tomorrow? Was she coming back tomorrow? He was okay with that. She opened the door to his office. He didn't do much in there, he had a computer, a treadmill and it's where he displayed all his awards. She glanced around and moved to the next door, the spare room, where Matthew slept when he visited, Gilbert insisted Marilla have his bed when they came and he slept on the couch. "This isn't your room." She announced and moved on the another door, the washroom. 

"Why do you think that isn't my room?" He couldn't help asking. 

"It doesn't smell like you." She answered simply, she opened the final door and found his room. His large bed took up most of the space, two walls were floor to ceiling windows, providing another view of the city. "I won't even have to get out of bed to see the view in the daylight." She announced cheerfully, turning to look at him. He was sure he was standing there with his mouth open, was she staying the night? Were they....?

"I...uh..."

"Unless you don't want to..."

"No! I mean yes, I want to. Are you sure?"

"Let's make sure there are no misunderstandings later. I want to stay the night, sleep in this bed next to you, naked, and I would really like to have sex with you. Is that what you want?" 

"Yes." He blurted out. 

"Great. So..."

"So." He agreed, moving to draw the curtains, no one could see in from any near by buildings, but he was always worried about drones with cameras. He turned off the main light in the room, and moved to turn off the lamp on the side table, remembering she had body issues and wanting her to be comfortable. 

"It's alright, that one can stay on." She told him, a more shy now than she had been.

"If you want at any point, we can turn it off." He told her, moving toward her, she was standing on the other side of the bed. He didn't want to rush it like the last two times, he wanted to take his time and make sure she enjoyed it. He felt his stomach flip flopping, why did it feel so monumental?

"I'm suddenly a bit nervous." She admitted.

"Me too." And they both nervously laughed. "Right let's just try to relax and have fun, no pressure." He felt like he was delivering a speech to a fellow hockey player. Next he would be saying to give it her all and leave nothing on the ice. "I'm going to take off my shoes."

"Okay." She breathed out a breath she must have been holding and leaned over to remove her shoes too. When they were both barefoot, he just pulled her into his arms, holding her against him, hoping the simple, basic contact between them would somehow settle both of their nerves. 

He waited until her felt her hands begin to tentatively explore his shoulders and back, he then started his own exploration, feeling her back, her sides, letting his thumbs just graze the undersides of her breasts, dropping a few kissing on the top of her head. He moved his hands to gently cup her face, tilting it up so he could lower his mouth to hers, they kissed for an eternity, or was it a second? Gilbert didn't know. Her hand was in his hair, his hand had found her ass and was simultaneously squeezing a handful of it and using it to hold her against him. When she practically whimpered into his mouth he felt his dick harden, he wanted it inside of her, against her, touching her, he sat on the edge of the bed, and pulled her down, so she straddled his lap, feeling her pussy come into contact with his cock, she was so hot there, he could feel it through his trousers, she instantly began to grind herself against him. He kept his hands on her waist, and allowed her to have control, she leaned in to kiss him, gasping into his mouth as her clit made contact with his painfully hard cock. He let his hands slide up her back and find the zipper, and pulled it down, the dress slipped down her shoulders and fell right off her arms, he broke the kiss to lean back and take a good look at her. She sat back a bit too, still grinding against him though, her eyes were dark and her lips were swollen from their kisses, a small smudge of lipstick stained just outside the edges of her lips. Her hair was laying against her creamy, white shoulders, freckles dotted her shoulders and chest, he could see a few on the skin between her breasts, which were covered by a sheer dark green lacy bra. Her dress was now pooled around her waist, he could see the scars from the self harm, he was relieved to see no fresh or recent marks. 

"Going to stare at my tits all night?" She asked with a husky voice, and he grinned and nodded at her. He would stare at them all night if he had his way, but he also wanted to taste them, so he reached back and undid her bra, drawing it down her arms and instantly kissing the tops of them, nuzzling his nose between and sucking the freckled skin there. He sucked a pink nipple into his mouth while moving his other hand back down to her ass and speeding up her movements. 

"Stand up." He said to her, she complied, and he groaned at the loss of her against him, once she was upright, he yanked her dress the rest of the way off, staring at the matching panties she wore, breathing in the scent of her arousal. "Fuck." He growled out and shoved his face against her, kissing her through the scrap of lace, letting his tongue trace her folds through the material, she moaned and ground herself against him, her hand in his hair. He pushed the material out of his way and pressed his face back, licking a long slow trail between her labia, then suckling lightly on them, his hands wrapped around her ass, pressing her to his face. He could practically feel the steam coming from her, he needed to change their positions so he could really get in there, he moved out from her and stood up, walked behind her and pressed her back down, so she was bent over, ass in the air, pussy spread open and inviting him. 

"Fuck you are gorgeous." He told her as he fondled her cunt, then he dropped to his knees and began eating her, nose practically in her vagina, while he lathed his tongue over her clit, again and again. He could feel her legs shaking, against the side of his head, hear her cries as she neared climax, he could barely breathe, but he kept going, until she cried out and collapsed on the bed, he was grateful she didn't fall on his head. He turned and sat with his back against the bed, between her legs that were hanging over the edge, smiling at her ragged breathing and twitching legs. 

He removed his tie and began to undo the buttons on his shirt, found his own legs and stood, turning to take in the view. She was still facedown, hair covering her face, arms flung out on either side of her body, legs lewdly, but beautifully spread, her green thong, still on but pushed to one side, now that was a picture he wished he could put on his wall. He undid his belt, button and unzipped his pants, dropping them to the floor, quickly pulled off his socks, went to his bedside drawer, took a condom out and put it on. Then he positioned himself over her, knees on each side of her on the bed, letting his dick nudge against her, as he leaned over, moved her hair aside and kissed her shoulder. "This okay?" He whispered, making sure she was okay with the act and the position.

"Yes." She panted, and he needed no more encouragement, he took a hold of his cock, rubbed it along her dripping cunt, once it was nice and wet, he pushed it slowly inside of her, laying his head against her neck, her mewl of pleasure almost sent him over the edge but he held himself still for a moment before her began to ease in and out of her slowly, laying kisses to whatever skin his mouth could reach.

"Fuck, you feel so good."

"So do you." She angled her hips upward a bit so he could get deeper, causing them both to moan. He needed more, he pulled her up by her hips so she was on her knees, his dick still buried inside of her and began to fuck her harder, she pushed back, meeting his hard thrusts with her own. "Yes." She panted, "Like that don't stop please." She begged and he complied, not going harder, faster or slower. He maintained his pace and reached under her to rub her clit, he motions became erratic and when she sped up so did he. She collapsed again into the bed but he just positioned himself so that he could continue to fuck her into the bed. Then he saw a white light behind his eyelids, felt his balls tightened and his dick shoot out his cum.

"Fuck." He practically roared out, and then he collapsed on top of her. "Jesus Christ." He panted again her ear. 

"Yeah and the Father and the Holy Spirit too." She laughed while trying to breathe. He grabbed her and rolled them onto their sides, legs hanging over the bed still, his dick still inside of her, hands moving to hold her breast, and rub her clit. 

He got her to cum one more time before he went to the washroom and threw the condom away, then he went to the kitchen got them some turkey kielbasa, cheese and crackers and some juice. they sat in his bed, eating and talking. He took her one more time before they both fell asleep, her head on his chest, his arms around her, face buried in her hair.


	15. Chapter Fifteen

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Anne gets some answers.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is the final chapter, the end. I will do an epilogue with a flash forward, but I managed to get it to where I envisioned it at the beginning. Thanks for coming on this wild ride with me and giving it a shot.

They fell into an easy routine, one where she spent the night at his place a few times a week, when he was in the city. They still hung out at her place but he never stayed the night, not wanting to make it awkward between Anne and her friends. Plenty of videos and pictures of them began to appear on the internet, they stopped caring what the comments said, they were happy and that's all that mattered, both of them continued to see their therapists. 

He arrived at her house one day to find her and Diana joyfully excited, practically dancing around. "What's the good news?" He asked, kissing Anne's forehead. 

"I finally have a close genetic match." Anne told him, turning her laptop for him to see the screen. It said that her and someone named James MacDougall were close family - first cousins.

"A cousin. Anne that's amazing." He hugged her.

"It's even better, if he answers my message to him, he might be able to tell me more about my own parents, his mother or father would have to be a sibling to one of my own parents. "

"Have you messaged him?"

"Yes. I hope he answers. His profile is pretty bare and he has no picture."

"Me too." 

They were making dinner with Diana, he was chopping the lettuce and veggies for a salad, Diana was searing some chicken in a pan and Anne was refreshing the DNA website, hoping James would answer her. She nearly dropped her phone when she saw she had a reply from him. "Holy shit. He answered."

"Hey Anne, cousins huh? How weird that you can find family this way. My dad doesn't have any sisters, but he does have one brother. I think my Uncle Walt might be your father. He never mentioned you, or having a daughter with anyone named Bertha. But I know he joined the Navy when he was 18, maybe that's when he met your mother."

Anne could barely read anymore, she had tears in her eyes and a lump in her throat, that felt like it might explode. Diana came over and continued reading.

"Uncle Walt retired from the Navy when he was still pretty young, before 30 I think. He married a girl from his hometown and they have three kids. Anne, if Uncle Walt is your father, you have two little sisters and a brother. I don't know how they, or Walt's wife are going to take this. I'm working right now but I will call him on my break and see what he says. If he doesn't want to know you, I can't give out anymore details, but I would still like to know you. I'll let you know what he says. Talk soon, Cousin Jim."

"I might have siblings. I may have a father." She said, shaking her head. Had he ever known about her? Had he rejected her? Would he reject her again? 

"Are you okay?" Gilbert took her hands, she noticed Diana was rubbing her back. She nodded. 

"I'll have to be."

"If he doesn't want you, that will be his loss. You grew up to be an amazing woman without him and you can continue living without him." Diana encouraged her.

"And you'll have a cousin. Jim wants to know you no matter what." Gilbert added. Anne nodded again, unable to string together a sentence or make words.

She sat at the table, Gilbert stayed with her, Diana went to check the chicken hadn't burnt. "Let's look up your cousin on Facebook." Gilbert suggested. There were a lot of James MacDougalls, but they refined the search to just Canada, hoping he was Canadian and found a few, possible matches. 

"Look up Walter MacDougall." Diana suggested. "If he is Jim's dad's brother, they probably all have the name MacDougall. "

"Right! Why didn't I think of that?" Anne said. There were only a few, one was a college student in Saskatchewan, the other looked like he could be the right age. His profile picture was him, a pretty woman with a friendly smile, two girls that looked like twins, about the age of 13 or 14, and a boy around 10. None of them looked that much like her. 

"Check his friends list, see if he has a friend named James Macdougall." Diana again offered. 

"How do you think of all this?" Gilbert asked.

"Oh it's sweet that you have never stalked anyone's social media pages." Diana laughed. This Walter was indeed friends with a James MacDougall. "It could be him. What are their locations?"

"Walter is in Ottawa, James is in Calgary." Gilbert answered, Anne couldn't stop staring at the picture of Walter and his family, were they her family? His other pictures were private so they couldn't look at more.

She got a message from James an hour or so later, she hadn't eaten, just picked at her chicken and silently wondered if she wanted to know. Maybe it would be better if she never knew, if Walter had known about her and rejected her...that would hard to live with. Not knowing she could always pretend, he had died or simply didn't know.

"Uncle Walter wants to talk to you. He says call him anytime." Included was a phone number.

"Are you going to call?" Gilbert asked her. She nodded. "Tonight? Now? You don't have to. You can think about it, prepare a list of questions."

"Gilbert's right, you don't have to call right now." Diana added.

"I do. He's willing to let me blow up his life and call him. What if he changes his mind tomorrow? I can't keep him waiting."

"Do you want us to leave?" Gilbert asked and she grabbed his hand and shook her head.

"I need you both." She dialed the number and took a deep breath before she connected the call, it rang only once, like the person answering was waiting.

"Hello?" Came a man's voice, older but healthy sounding.

"Walter?" She asked, her voice trembling.

"Anne." Not as a question, but as if he were confirming it to himself.

"Yes. I...don't...I hope I'm not bothering you."

"You aren't. You're Bertha's daughter?"

"Yes."

"How is she doing?"

"She's dead. She died when I was just a few weeks old." Anne told him. It was quiet for a few moments.

"I'm sorry to hear that. She was really a wonderful woman. How did it happen, do you know?" His own voice sounded thick with emotion.

"No. There is no information available, that I can find anyway. She had no family in Halifax, no one ever came to find me."

"They probably didn't know about you. She left Scotland when she was 17, she was a wild and adventurous thing. Had a dozen or so brothers and sisters, she told me one day she just left, came to Canada on a tourist Visa and then just stayed. She worked as a housekeeper in a No Tell Motel because they paid her cash."

"Scotland?" No one knew about her because she had no family in Nova Scotia. How scared must her mother had been to be alone with a baby in a country with no husband, no family.

"Yeah, she had such a strong accent, and she would pepper whatever she said with Scottish slang, I didn't understand half of what she was saying. She would call me "mo chridhe", I still don't know what it means." 

"Were you two serious?" Anne asked him.

"I loved her, wanted to marry her. I asked her just before we were scheduled to ship out to the Persian Gulf. It was before 9/11 but there was a lot of tension in the area. She told me to ask her again when I got back. The letters I sent her were returned, her phone number got disconnected. I couldn't find her when I got back and none of her neighbours or co-workers knew what happened. I should have looked deeper, I just thought she had moved on or went back home. If I had done more...maybe..." Maybe he could have raised her and kept her safe and loved.

"And now you are married."

"I am to Julia, for 17 years."

"That's nice, will you tell her about me? I don't want to cause any strain."

"Sweetheart, she's right here beside me. Finding out about you won't be any trouble for us. You may be a surprise, but it is not unwelcomed." Anne started to cry pretty hard at that point, she felt, Gilbert's arm around her shoulder and Diana, take her hand.

"I'm sorry." She sobbed out to him.

"Don't be." And she could hear him choking back tears.

"Can we meet? In person?"

"There's nothing I would like more. I know your sisters and brother would like that as well." He told her. The tears started again.

"Let me hire someone to look into your mother. Maybe they can dig up her medical records, see why she died. They could look into your family in Scotland." Gilbert offered as they were saying good night. She was emotional from talking to her Father, and had plans to drive to Ottawa that weekend to meet him and her siblings and her step mother. Gilbert was disappointed he couldn't go with her but they had a game Saturday night, Diana was going to go instead.

"Like a private detective?" She wrinkled her brows.

"Yeah. They have contacts and know how to find stuff like that"

"That sounds expensive." She told him.

"Jesus Anne, I don't care about the cost. I haven't bought you anything besides food and flowers. Can I please do this for you?"

"I have been wondering when my Cartier diamond necklace was coming, but I suppose this would be more useful." She joked.

"You're serious? I'll call someone tomorrow. I am so happy for you Anne." He hugged her hard then.

"I'm so happy for me too." She hugged him back. He kissed her goodbye and headed for his car.

"What are you doing?" He asked her, they were in bed, snuggled next to each other, she had been swiping through pictures of her new family, and he was happy to look at them all and hear her reactions to each one. Then she had stopped and pinched her own arm.

"It suddenly came to me that this was all too good to be true. I'm here in bed with a wonderful, romantic and thoroughly out of my league, man. I found my father and he wants me, his whole family wants me. I have a great job I love, best friends that are there for me no matter what. Is this all just some fantastical imaginationings from me? So I pinched myself to see if it was real."

"If out of your league you means, I'm not deserving of you, you're probably right, but don't pinch me...I don't want this dream to end."

"You are so ridiculous." She laughed at him and he felt the love for her heating his chest, they hadn't said the words, they had never even declared themselves official. He stared at her while she went back to her phone.

"I love you." He told her, her hand stilled and she quickly looked at him. "Will you be my girl? You already are in my mind and heart but I should ask you, shouldn't I?"

"I love you too." She grabbed him and kissed him. "Don't wake me up either."

Fin

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know this goes far, far outside the canon of the story, but I really wanted Anne to have a super happy ending, this Anne, especially deserved one.


	16. Epilogue

When he looked back on his life, thought of all his accomplishments, awards and recognition, winning his first Stanley Cup, being voted into the Hall of Fame, finishing University at 43, it was the personal achievements that mattered the most, the ones he held close on lonely nights.. He could barely remember the game winning goal that won that Stanley Cup, but he could clearly remember the way Anne looked when she walked down the aisle, on her father's arm, to marry him. He remembered the cries of their first child John, after he was born, as clearly as it had just happened. The first time their twins, Matilda and Marilla skated out on the ice in their hockey skates, Mattie even went on to compete for Canada in the Olympics like her Dad. He could often feel the soft touch of Anne's hand in his still messy, curls. Curls that had long turned from brown to grey. The memories rushed by in a blur, flying to Scotland to meet her cousins, kissing her on a roller coaster at the very top of the first hill, chasing John around the kitchen of their first house after John had pooped on the floor and stepped in it. Anne angry with him, cheeks filled with colour, eyes flashing, Anne smiling across the room, eyes tender and full of love. Everything hard in his life had been made better by her presence.

He missed her most on nights like this, cold nights when the wind blew at the windows and shook the house, she would jump into bed with him and curl up close, trying to absorb his warmth, laughing at his outrage when her cold feet touched his. How many winters had they allowed themselves to be snowed in? The snow reaching above the front stairs to Green Gables, waiting days for the roads to be cleared. Just being alone with her had been all he needed, falling asleep at anytime of the day they wanted, his head cradled in her arms, his face between her breasts. 

Nathan was in the room down the hall on this night. He was Marilla's middle boy, a doctor, he'd come to stay with Gilbert in his final weeks, the others were in the hotel nearby, and he suspected John was still out in the barn, wanting to be there for the end. No one said those words out loud to him, but Gilbert could tell. It wasn't just creaky bones, and a cough. He wasn't getting better and he was alright with that. He was ready to see her again, three years, four months and six days had been far too long without her. He slowly rolled onto his side, so he could look at the picture on his side table, her smile was so beautiful, even now it made his heart clench with love. She was standing in the Atlantic Ocean, holding her blue sundress, up over her knees, to keep it dry, her hair was a blowing tumble of red. Taken on their first trip to PEI, all those years ago, had it already been 63 years? Some days it felt like it was just yesterday.   
He closed his eyes, as always thinking of her. He smiled when he felt her fingers in his hair and heard her voice close to his ear. "Come on Gilbert. I have so many adventures to take you on."


End file.
